In about an hour, I’ll be loading the kids and all their stuff into the car and heading to Echoing Hills for their week of summer camp. Casey can’t stop giggling, while Rob just keeps asking for camp. And autism mom will be wondering what to do first.
They are packed and ready to go. Casey finally made the biggest decision of the summer and chose Bert to go to camp with her. She was trying to choose between Grover and an Elmo that haven’t gotten to go, yet, but apparently, at the last minute, she decided Bert needed to get away. Her eyes were twinkling as she packed him carefully into her suitcase with a soft towel to keep him safe.
Last night, I heard Rob in his room, but I couldn’t tell what he was up to (and isn’t that scary, autism parents??). When I went to check, I found him carefully packing his clothes. He was folding each item neatly and putting all of his pants in one corner of his suitcase and his shirts in another. I was so proud of him! He even thought to put his towels and underwear in, too!
It was so cool to see him take such an active interest in packing. Usually, he just makes sure I pack his favorite clothes (is it terrible that I wouldn’t mind if some of them didn’t come home? 🙂 ) But, if he lost something precious to him out there, I’m sure it would cause anxiety the next time, so I guess I’d just better hope it makes it home. I’m sure he was packing for two reasons – because he was excited and to make sure I didn’t put any new clothes (God forbid!) in his suitcase. He wants his comfy stuff and that’s all we packed.
I know lots of families take advantage of the kids being cared for for a week and take trips, but I like being home. It sounds silly, but it’s so cool to not have to think about helping with baths/showers for a few nights and to watch TV at 8:00 if I want (that’s usually bath time) I can go to bed at 9, if I want and not need to wait until they go to sleep. I can have some junk food without them trying to sneak some, too. (By the time I have a snack, they have already had theirs and I really watch how much they eat)
So, this week, I’m painting the living room and fixing the floor. I could do it with them here, but it’s so much easier not having to worry about Rob’s anxiety when he comes home to discover Mom has destroyed the living room and moved everything. I can take my time and not kill myself trying to get it done in one day while they are at the workshop. Anyone else know what I mean? 🙂
As happy as they are to go, I have mixed feelings every time. I know they are happy and having a great time and I do enjoy the break from autism, but they are such a part of me, that sometimes, it’s hard to separate us. Maybe that doesn’t make much sense, but being a autism mom is me – the main thing in my life. Not having someone to take care of is odd to me. Enjoyable for a few days, but then I’m ready to get back to our routine.
The week will go so fast, but I’ll be one of the first moms to be at the camp Friday. I can’t wait to see them. I will wonder on the drive out if they will react like usual – Casey running for a hug with a big smile and Rob barely acknowledging me until we get home, when he leans his forehead to mine and smiles his sweet smile.
This year, I have a better understanding of what they will be doing doing the week. I’ve volunteered at the camp on Mondays this summer and I’ve seen what they get to do. I’ve always heard about it, of course, but seeing is even better. And I’ve seen the same counselors week after week, happily helping whatever group is there that week. (Each week is a different group – children, teens, young adults, older adults, autism, etc) I’ve seen them go without their own lunch to follow a wanderer around the room to be sure that camper is safe. I’ve seen them help campers eat and laugh at the silly jokes of others.
I’ve seen them dance silly dances because a camper asked them to. I watched them carefully wipe faces of older adults and children. I’ve seen them deal with difficult behaviors with a smile on their face and comfort a homesick camper. To be honest, I could be a counselor for a week, but I’m not sure I could do it for the whole summer. Maybe because care taking is a full time thing for me, while for the counselors it may not be. Either way, the love I’ve seen makes this summer even easier to drop them off.
It also helps that Mandy works at the camp, now. If there is an emergency, she can be with Casey or Rob in minutes.
So I’ve been thinking about what else I want to do during the week. I’ve got my plans for the living room laid out, but I want some fun, too. Walks with Blue and my friends, maybe? Maybe I’ll read a book all day. Maybe see a movie – or just watch a movie at home in my PJ’s. Maybe I’ll go to the pool with my friend and not have to worry about watching the kids – can you imagine just sitting on a chair and catching some sun instead of chasing kids?
Maybe I’ll eat popcorn for supper one night and French fries for lunch. Maybe I’ll sit in the porch swing for hours and watch the birds. Maybe I’ll take a nap every day and stand in the shower for as long as I want. Maybe I’ll get groceries. Maybe I’ll write. Maybe I’ll finally catch up on the list of stuff I wanted to get done this summer. Maybe I’ll spend the week crafting. Maybe I’ll go through their clothes and get rid of what doesn’t fit anymore. Maybe I’ll just watch the ceiling fan blades go around. The whole plan right now is to not have a plan. Walks early in the morning and workouts in the afternoon, maybe? Yoga on the patio as the morning warms up. Who knows?
Casey is still giggling and saying camp every few minutes. She apparently is worried that I’ll forget that today is the day! The day she has been waiting for since last July. They both love the weekend respites, but summer camp is extra special. She is asking for certain counselors and talking about the talent show. Rob is just watching me and waiting for me to say those magical words “It’s time to go!”
** Update – when I said it was time to go, Rob ran to car and refused to get out for a picture so Casey got as close as she could. 😊
When I was leaving, Casey barely looked up from her color by number, but Rob stood up, gave me a real hug and said “Wuv you, Mommy Jen” all before I said anything to him. I had tears in my eyes – first time he has ever said that unless he’s repeating what I said to him. 💙💙💙💙
You need to relax, no matter what you do. Do what you want, when you want. This is YOUR week!!