Autism and Fun at the Fair

Autism and Fun at the Fair

Finally! The day Casey has been waiting for for two years! They got to go to our county fair Friday and ride till they dropped. She was so upset last year when the fair was canceled and has been asking about this year since last fall. Even Thursday evening, she wanted to be sure it was still happening.

We usually go on Sunday morning and beat the crowd, but with the rain predicted today, I surprised them and we went Friday. It was the perfect day – not many people and a beautiful day to be outside. We had a few minor bumps (the rides didn’t open when I was told they would so we had to kill an hour wandering around – Rob’s least favorite thing to do!)

He has two reasons to go to the fair. Ride until I say we have to leave and to get some French fries. He doesn’t care about other “fair” food (he will eat some of it, but he doesn’t go to the fair for anything but to ride!) He couldn’t tell me, but I know he was disappointed that neither of his two favorite rides were there. He hates heights, so that eliminated two other rides (though I can’t figure out why it’s okay to be high if you are being spun like a top!) so really there are only four rides that he enjoys. That’s okay – he got spun until I thought I would get sick.

Yep – I spent my time safely on the ground, trying to remember if I ever really liked rides. I don’t mind some of them, but I hate heights and spinning makes me sick. But – as I watched them, I couldn’t help but think of the way it used to be taking them to the fair. Casey never darted away at the fair, but because she did so often in other places, I was scared to death she would there, too. Rob darted away. He hated crowds and noise, but he loved the rides and he was fast – so, so fast.

It’s crazy. I don’t know why I did this, but when they were little, we spent hours there. So many hours…. and why? Part of it was Mandy, of course. She liked more about the fair than just the rides. And, for the most part, Casey and Rob would take breaks from rides to walk around a while. Rob has just matured to the point that he knows what he wants and truly sees no reason to be there if it’s not to ride. 🙂 I finally realized it was fine to go home when they needed to go. I could always take Mandy back to have fun with her friends.

Casey likes to ride, but she’ll look around, too. Not because she is very interested in it, but because that’s what she has decided you are “supposed” to do, but only with certain people and at certain times. When she is with Rob and me, rides are all that’s important. The crowds and noise start bothering them and we leave. I can see the signals of overload. Their eyes look dull instead of happy. They are shutting down. Time to go.

For the last several years, Rob isn’t ready to stop riding when she is. Usually, we compromise with two more rides, then fries and home and he’s okay with that. Casey is a little more able to know when she’s reaching her limit and wants to leave. He is just so happy about the rides and the sensory input he gets, it takes him a little longer to be done.

I am so proud of how well they did. They both stayed right with me and waited patiently for their turn to get on rides. I was even able to have them sit at a picnic table while I walked about 15 feet away to get their drinks. When they were little, I never dreamed that day would come. When they couldn’t wait in lines…. when they didn’t want to leave…. when they would run from me. It’s all so different now. Remember us when you are feeling like things will never change. They do!

Rob even asked for the fair again yesterday. The only thing he asks about is Hopewell – for him to ask to go to the fair again is huge to me. The weather today is preventing a return trip, but hopefully, they’ll get there one evening this week and enjoy more spinning and swooping.

Casey loves the fair for many reasons, but mostly, it’s because that’s what you are supposed to do the first Sunday of October. She does enjoy the rides, but again, she enjoys it because she loves going anywhere. For Rob, the fair is different. He craves the sensory input from the rides. All of that spinning is calming to him. It feeds his proprioceptive needs unlike anything else. As fast as I can spin him in a swing, it’s nothing compared to those rides. He loves the way those spins make him feel. I keep telling our neighbor I’m going to purchase one of those giant swinging boats for our backyards. Rob needs that in ways I can’t understand. I only know how different he is after a few hours of it. Calm. Happy. Relaxed. I love seeing him like that.

If you are planning a day out with your child, I highly suggest you take a picture of your child with your phone as soon as you get there in case he/she does dart away, you will have a picture to show people to help find them. Also, you can safety pin a tag on the back of your child’s shirt with your phone number on it (Many kids won’t like this – you may have to get creative about where you put a tag) You can also purchase necklaces or bracelets, if your child will wear them, before you go with vital information.

And I love spending a day like this with them. It’s a dream I wasn’t sure would ever happen. I don’t take days like this for granted. Autism taught me that – take nothing for granted and enjoy it all! 🙂

Autism and Family Fun

Autism and Family Fun

Today has been a good day. It’s one of those days that, when Casey and Rob were little, I never dreamed would happen. These days do happen more often now and I thank God for that as I’m so grateful to see Casey, Mandy and Rob having fun together, with autism present, but not the main thing.

Mandy and I decided to take Casey and Rob swimming today. The pool is small, but close to our house and Casey and Rob both enjoy it. (Honestly, I think he does more than her. She likes to go anywhere – and instead of focusing on how great the water felt, she was wondering what snacks we brought. 🙂 ) He wants to run and jump in as soon as we get there, but I make him walk down the steps so he doesn’t land on anyone. 🙂

He got almost to the bottom of the steps and fell in the pool like the Lipton tea commercials – the person falls flat in the water? And then he was off to “his” part of the pool. He had his ball and an empty area – he was in heaven. He was sitting under water and bouncing up and down as high as he could go. Water is amazing to him – the pressure calms him down and he loves the feel of bouncing. Water play is sensory heaven to him.

Mandy was watching them while I went to get more sun screen. When I came back, I saw a funny look on Rob’s face. He looked at me, then back to the other side of the pool and I saw why he looked odd. His aquatic therapist, Erin, was there! He was amazed that she was at that pool and not in “her” pool at the hospital. Even after we got home, he was giggling about Erin being at the pool. And reminding me that tomorrow is Erin day and he needs his swimming stuff in the morning.

One of the best parts of the day was that Rob wanted to play catch with me! I’m not sure when we played the last time – and I know it wasn’t for more than an hour like today! Every time I thought he was done, he asked for more. I loved it! And then, to make it even better – Casey played catch with him! They only played a few minutes, but again, I don’t know when the last time they did an activity like that together was. (They do things together, but often, they are together, but not necessarily interacting with each other.) I looked at Mandy and told her that no one else in the pool realized they were in the presence of a miracle. 🙂

I share this with you to remind you again that you have to keep trying to take your child to new places. Trust me – I know it’s easier to stay home when there may be a meltdown, but your child will never learn to adjust and cope with their sensory needs if you don’t give them a chance. I’m sure a few of you are thinking that I have no idea what your child is like and you are right. I can only tell you that Casey and Rob both had major issues with stores and restaurants when they were younger (and still do, at times!) but they have learned how to cope.

They only learned that by trying and failing and trying again. We had some ugly times in stores. We got some terrible looks and even worse comments. And, I’ll admit, there were times I didn’t try, simply because I was tired and couldn’t deal with it. There are still times when I know Casey or Rob is having a rough day that we avoid going out. It’s just not worth it. If your child is already stressed, trying something new is rarely a good idea. And don’t try when you are tired or stressed.

But – try again. And again. You will have bad times. We did. You will gets mean looks and comments. We did. But, Casey and Rob are doing amazing now because we did keep trying. We celebrated the good trips and tried to forget the others. It’s not easy. Autism is not easy, Being a parent is not easy.

Start small. Maybe a five minute trip into a store to get something your child loves. Build up into longer trips. Celebrate the small victories and plan your next trip. You can do it! Your child needs you to do it!

Why Understanding Sensory Needs is Important

Why Understanding Sensory Needs is Important

Now that we’ve covered all of the senses, I want to talk about why it is so important that you understand how these sensory needs truly affect a person with autism. Every day, our bodies (and brains!) are constantly dealing with noises, tastes, smells, etc. Some days, it’s exhausting – think how tired you might be after being in a noisy room for a long period of time.

Now imagine this. You are in a crowded room with several people wearing different lotions, perfumes or colognes. The lights are flickering (maybe only you notice this!) and your shirt is itchy. One of your socks is slightly twisted, so the seam is across your foot and it hurts. The noise of people who are constantly shifting in their seats or tapping their fingers or swinging their feet is enough to drive you crazy. Then, the fire alarm goes off and the pain from that sound is excruciating. To top it all off – you are hungry and you can’t tell anyone what you need.

How would you react? Would you be able to sit calmly and listen to the teacher read a story? Could you focus on a test where the letters seemed to be dancing on the page? Would you be able to color a picture when you aren’t sure how to hold the crayon because your fine motor skills are so affected by autism?

And this is just a very small thing that people with autism deal with every day. This, on top of the desperate need for routine – the need for things to be in the “right” place – the need for kind people to be around you.

No wonder so many people with autism have meltdowns. (Not tantrums – we’ll talk about the difference in meltdowns and tantrums another day) Their bodies are so overwhelmed by the sights, sounds and smells that are always bombarded them that it’s hard for them to stay calm. Imagine trying to sleep when all you can hear is a faucet dripping or the strong smell of fabric softener?

It took me a long time to truly understand Casey and Rob’s sensory needs. I finally happened to hear about sensory issues at a conference I attended and it was like a slap in the face to me. So many things started to click! How Casey was terrified to be in the bathtub when the water starting draining out. How Rob had to wear the same type of shirt (this was in elementary school – had to be a certain brand from Wal-mart). How he squeezed his jaw when he was getting overwhelmed. How neither could eat in certain restaurants (the noise of the HVAC).

Why stores were so hard for them. Why he refused to eat certain foods and why neither of them could sleep. Why he never noticed things that were hot and why she refused to go in the gym at school.

Once I knew why things were happening, it made a huge difference in our lives. It took a long time (and things change – we are constantly on alert for what may cause either of them pain or discomfort) to really understand that they weren’t just being little turkeys when they avoided something. They were truly in pain. Noises are still hard for both of them. Last night, we went to a parade my niece was in and Casey and Rob both got tense when they saw the fire truck coming. She put her fingers in her ears as soon as she saw it and he followed her lead. (My mom covered his ears for him, too – he loves the trucks, but their air horns are extremely painful to him.)

When you start noticing behaviors with your person with autism, think outside the box. Consider any new laundry soap or shampoo (for them and you!) – anything with a scent that they might find too strong. Think about the lighting in the room – is it flickering? Consider the temperature – you may be comfortable, but they might be too hot or too cold. Really notice the noise level – and remember that the noises may not be ones that you can hear clearly, but the person with autism can. They might be loud noises or very low, like HVAC systems.

The best way to discover what might be going on is to start a journal. When a behavior happens, note where/when/who was around. What clothes they were wearing. The activity they were doing. Do this for a few days and you may see a pattern. Maybe they are frustrated because they can’t hold their pencil. Maybe they are hungry. Maybe the person next to them smells funny (I don’t mean this to be mean – the person may use a different soap or maybe they smell like the French fries they had for lunch. Just because a scent doesn’t bother you, doesn’t mean it won’t bother your child!)

Many behaviors we see with autism could be sensory needs. A child who runs away. A child who won’t eat. A person who can’t sleep. A person who avoids a certain room. It takes a lot of work to discover the reasons behind behaviors if your child can’t tell you. Sometimes, they can – Casey and Rob couldn’t and still won’t. We have just learned what issues they have, avoid as many as possible and are ready to help when sensory needs pose problems.

Please – when your child starts a new behavior, consider sensory needs as a possible cause. Of course, sensory needs won’t always be the cause, but in a majority of cases, I bet they are at least a small part of the problem.

I also bet that you have some sensory needs yourself. I know there are certain materials I won’t wear and scents that make me gag. Think about it – I bet you have learned what bothers you and you just avoid it. But what if the adults around you make you do things or go places that are painful and you can’t tell anyone? It’s meltdown time!

Autism and the Sense of Smell

Autism and the Sense of Smell

I saved the sense of smell until last because it seems to be the sense that Casey and Rob have the least issue with. Maybe that’s because their sense is hypo-sensitive and they don’t know what they are missing. I have rarely seen Rob bending closer to something to smell it better, but Casey does. Rob is more concerned with how things look, feel and sound.

For a long time, Casey would smell her food before she would eat it, but I don’t see her doing that much anymore. She eats almost anything so maybe she really does have a hypo-sensitive sense of smell. Taste and smell go hand in hand when we eat and her ability to eat a wide variety of foods might be a sign that she doesn’t notice the smells of some foods.

Rob never smelled his food, but he also won’t smell a flower if I asked him to. He might bend down to it, but he won’t really smell it. It’s almost like he isn’t sure what is expected when I ask him to do it. Casey will smell shampoo, deodorants, toothpaste. He just uses what he is given.

She also used her sense of smell to get back at me for telling her something she didn’t want to hear. It drives me crazy when she leans into my hair and takes a deep breath to smell it. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of telling her not to do that and now, if I have made her mad, she will lean on me and smell my hair. (Yeah, I know having your hair sniffed isn’t that big of a deal, but it drives me nuts the way she does it! 🙂 ) More proof that people with autism do have a sense of humor – she will lean in for a sniff and just grin her ornery grin as she knows she has gotten my goat again.

Casey will tell me if something smells good or bad. Rob just looks at me like he has no idea why any smell would be good or bad. I know he can smell, to some degree, but he is definitely hypo-sensitive in that area. I think Casey is, too, as things that smell bad never get her attention. I’ve driven by skunks on the road and made comments about the terrible smell and they both look at me like they have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ve never seen either one of them wrinkle their nose at something that stinks. Nor do they seem to enjoy smelling flowers or fresh cookies.

For people with hyper-sensitive senses of smell, the world can be a rough place. Ladies with a lot of perfume on – fires burning – lit candles – even shampoo or soap can be extremely painful for them and can cause them to feel sick. Think about times you have smelled something and felt nauseous from it – imagine that 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Is it any wonder that sensory issues can cause meltdowns? I’m not sure I would make it an entire day dealing with what Casey and Rob handle every day. They are stronger than me.

If you notice your child avoiding certain foods, people or places, think about what they may be smelling. Is there someone wearing heavy perfume? Does the food have a strong odor? Even bath time can be difficult if the scents of shampoo or soap you are using are too strong. Try unscented items for a while and see if that helps. (But remember – our kids have amazing memories and an inability to generalize, so it may take several tries before you have a calm bath time with new shampoo!)

You should be able to discover how your child’s sense of smell is affected fairly easily, if they are willing to try. Gather several items with different scents and see if your child is willing to sniff everything. If they avoid it all, I would guess they have a hyper-sensitive sense of smell and will avoid anyone or anything that has much of an odor. (remember – they can smell things we don’t – if they avoid it, they can smell it, even if you can’t!) If they will smell the items without much reaction, my guess is they have a hyposensitive sense of smell and aren’t able to notice the odors.

Keep in mind that, just like everyone else, their bodies change as they grow up and the way their senses are affected may change, too. Very few things in autism are permanent. 🙂

Autism and the Sense of Touch

Autism and the Sense of Touch

Honestly, the sense of touch is messed up with both Casey and Rob. They are both a mixture of hyper-sensitive and hypo- sensitive when it comes to their skin.

Rob will dig at insect bites until they are bleeding because he doesn’t feel the pain. He doesn’t notice cuts or bruises. He had a broken collar bone and it took hours for him to slow down enough that I knew something was wrong.

I have to turn his shower water on because he won’t notice how hot it is and will get burned. He burned his finger badly as a teen because he laid his hand against a hot pan and didn’t notice. He doesn’t notice sun burn or the sting of a bee. (However, he has had bad reactions to insect stings and ended up in ER, so he is afraid of them.)

He needs the weight of many blankets to be able to sleep as he can’t feel the pressure of just one. He loves standing in pouring water for the deep pressure it provides.

But – his sense of touch is hyper in some areas, as certain food textures will make him gag. He can’t wear certain fabrics as he will break out in a rash. His body temp does not regulate well, as he can overheat but not feel cold.

He enjoys his skin being “brushed” (a light tickle that I never thought he would notice). He also likes being lightly tickled on his arms and back, but he also enjoys tight bear hugs. It’s always a question whether he needs more or less of something.

Casey gets hot and cold easily. She can adjust her bath water so it’s not too hot. She will jerk away from hot things and she’ll wear almost any fabric. Sunburn doesn’t bother her and she rarely picks at insect bites.

But – she doesn’t feel pain. She sliced her leg on a mattress spring (it was nearly new – I still don’t know how it happened!) and the only way I knew was she was in the bathroom forever and I went to check only to find her patiently putting bandaids on her leg. It took 16 staples to close the gash.

She is terrified of needles because they hurt, but can stub her toe and not notice. She doesn’t like water pouring on her and food textures are not a problem. She is afraid of bees, but I think it’s because Rob and Mandy don’t like them, so she just follows their lead. 😊

The sense of touch can affect your child in so many ways. Things you never thought of – the seam in their sock, the tags in their clothes, how hard their chair is, whether they can sleep at night or even whether they can concentrate in school. After all, imagine trying to concentrate when all you can focus on is how tight your shoe feels.

It can also be dangerous when a person has hypo-sensitive touch. Just like Rob’s collar bone and Casey’s cut leg – injuries can be severe and they won’t notice. And when an injury does occur, you have to be really vigilant about how it’s healing. They aren’t able to tell you if it starts hurting more or is getting infected. It’s another thing to consider if your child pulls away from you and doesn’t like hugs. It’s hard not to take that personally, but in reality, it’s probably their sense of touch.

If your child is having behaviors, definitely consider everything they wear – what they are sitting on – how they hold pencils. Their behaviors might be as simple as a tag in their shirt rubbing their neck. (Tagless clothes are amazing!) When you have a child like Casey or Rob, who are both hyper and hypo sensitive, it’s difficult to know what is causing the behavior. Like everything else with autism, it can be tricky to discover the root cause. The best way is to write down everything your child is wearing each day and watch for a pattern. It’s a pain to do, but if you can discover the issue, your child will be so much happier! (and so will you! 🙂 )

Autism and the Proprioceptive and Vestibular Senses

Autism and the Proprioceptive and Vestibular Senses

I’m sure many of you wondered if I knew what I was talking about several weeks ago when I mentioned I would be talking about the six senses. Many people have never heard of the proprioceptive and vestibular senses and they are ones that can really affect people with autism. Rob and Casey both have issues with their proprioceptive/vestibular senses.

Basically, the proprioceptive sense tells your brain where your body is. Like – closing your eyes and being able to touch your nose with your finger. Rob can’t do it. Casey can, but she struggles with it. It also tells you whether your feet are on concrete or grass. Receptors for the proprioceptive sense are deep in joints and muscles. You need your proprioceptive sense for smooth body movements so it is vitally important for all motor skills.

Vestibular sense is more for balance and spatial orientation. It helps you balance on one foot. It’s how your body understand how you are moving – like what direction and how fast, even whether or not you are moving. So many people on the autism spectrum have problems with fine or gross motor skills and these two sense are the reasons why. Just like with the other five senses, a person can have a hyper or hypo sense of their body and how it’s moving.

Rob struggles more with proprioceptive issues that Casey does. He needs deep pressure to help his body know where it is and how it is moving. When he was younger, this was a much larger issue and he often had a weighted vest on or a weighted lap belt in school. I also used wrist weights with him (don’t buy the “sensory ones” – buy ones that people use to work out. The cost is about a tenth of the sensory ones!) when he was struggling to write. As odd as it sounds, his handwriting is beautiful – nearly perfect. His sense of order demanded perfect letters, even as his body couldn’t easily write them. This caused him to have a lot of anxiety and still does at times, but he has learned that he doesn’t have to be perfect. 🙂

Ankle weights (again, go to the sporting goods section!) are also wonderful tools to help someone with proprioceptive issues. Weighted blankets can help them regulate their body and sleep better. Casey loves lots of blankets piled on her, but she doesn’t need them like he does. As a child, her handwriting wasn’t good and it still isn’t. Now, it is more that she simply doesn’t like to write (though this could be a sensory issue) – she loves to color and draw, though. But – writing is a very precise activity where her art is more whatever she likes.

I’m sure Rob’s issues with his vestibular sense were the main cause of his many accidents as a child. He was clumsy and could trip over a piece of string. He fell into our concrete porch steps and needed stitches. He fell down the last few steps into our basement and earned a helicopter ride to a children’s hospital when he wouldn’t wake up the next morning. He jumped down a flight of stairs and broke his collar bone. And the list goes on…. His vestibular sense didn’t help him and he wasn’t afraid of anything. A really bad combination! (How he jumped off the roof of our house and never got hurt is beyond me!)

Rob also used a platform swing when he was in elementary school. It was right in the classroom and he could lay flat on it as he practiced saying his spelling words and math facts. We quickly discovered that what he learned as he was swinging stuck with him. He learned so much easier when he was swinging. The swing moved to the junior high with him, but he didn’t seem to need it as much. The swinging movement calmed his vestibular and proprioceptive senses enough that he was able to concentrate.

Equine therapy was also a huge blessing for both of them. While on the horse, they practiced many things. many of the games involved throwing bean bags at specific colors or shapes (they knew these, but having to throw the bean bag required their body to learn how to do what their mind wanted, if that makes sense – it could be a struggle, especially for Casey). They learned to shoot basketballs with both hands on either side of their horse. “Crossing mid-line” is a big issue. This means their right hand never goes to the left side of their body and vice versa.

A big indicator of a child with vestibular or proprioceptive issues might be when they are writing. If they switch hands when they get to the middle of the paper, you may want to keep an eye out for other signs. An occupational therapist can give you suggestions to help your child. Casey switched hands as a child, but she is definitely right handed now. Rob switched, too, and favors his right hand, but uses his left often.

Fine motor skills, such as cutting, writing, buttoning and tying shoes, can be a problem for children with hyper or hypo vestibular and proprioceptive senses. Casey seems to have worked through her struggles and while she does have problems once in a while, for the most part, she does everything she needs/wants to do. Rob still can’t tie his shoes. I’ll admit, we worked on it for years and years and then decided it wasn’t a battle worth fighting anymore. He might be able to do it, now, but he likes his slip on shoes and will ask for help if he needs, so it’s not likely a skill I will push him on. There are other things that are more important.

If you suspect your child might have vestibular issues, try spinning or jumping with them several times a day. A small trampoline works well or an exercise ball that they can sit on. (Rob sat on one at the desk in his room for several years.) There are also small seats that you can place on chairs that allow your child some movement while still sitting still. Swinging is another great option. Anything that will help your child learn to control the movements of their body (and have fun!) is great. I wouldn’t recommend riding a bike, though – at least not until they have a little more control. 🙂

For proprioceptive problems, try weighted items. Swinging may help with this, too. As with everything else, what works for one child may not work for another. Try something new and see how your child reacts. It is obvious fairly quickly what they like and what helps.

An occupational therapist should be able to give you more ideas on what may help your child. Don’t be afraid to ask – sensory issues are not always the first thing people think of and those issues are often the root of so many problems.

Autism and the Sense of Sight

Autism and the Sense of Sight

First off, please remember that what I share on this blog is our life. I’m not a doctor or therapist or any other professional. I’m sharing ideas that might work for your child – but you need to decide what to try and what to ignore. As I’ve said before, what works for Casey may not work for Rob and vice versa.

On to their sense of sight…

Since they can’t tell me exactly what they see, I rely on what they draw to tell me how well they see. They both have hyper-sensitive sight, meaning they see much better and more details than most of us.

Casey can color and paint the smallest details on her projects – but only if she sees the need to do that. 🙂 Often, she is in such a hurry to move on to the next project or fun thing to do that she rushes through her art. I have only a few examples of the details she sees in things.

Rob, on the other hand, can use his iPad to draw amazing pictures with details in the cars and characters that I’ve never noticed. The little things that tend to blend into the bigger picture, he sees. He used to use the “paint” program on my old computer to draw characters from the Wizard of Oz – and every one would have little details. Dorothy’s shoes had sparkles, her basket had weave, her dress was perfectly spaced blue and white checks. The lion had a puff of long hair at the end of his tail and the scarecrow had hay sticking out in different places. I so wish more of those pictures had gotten saved and printed. But, when Rob is done with his drawing, he immediately erased it. I only have a few of them. 🙁

His drawings of trucks and cars include the smallest details of the hub caps of each car. He knows the license plate numbers of several vehicles. He can tell from several blocks away if a car coming towards us is someone we know. I’m lucky to notice as we pass!

When he uses sidewalk chalk, he draws each letter in calligraphy. He can write beautifully – again, when he wants to. Most of the time, he seems to think what I’d like him to do is pointless, so he is fast. But, when he writes thank you notes or signs cards, he carefully and perfectly signs his name. He can make elaborate creations with his Legos, but often sticks to his trees and power poles. (He still stares at power poles with a fascination I don’t understand. I’ve wondered if he hears a hum from them.) Wind turbines are especially fascinate him – he could watch for hours.

Rob loves running water – ocean waves, waterfalls, creeks. I know it is incredibly relaxing to him, but I’ve also discovered that he loves them because of the patterns he sees in each. He sees colors and designs where I see running water. I love waterfalls for the beauty I see, but he sees a much deeper beauty in each. No matter how small, he has to stop and stare at running water. A few summers ago, he actually went wading with us (it had been years since he did that!) and he just stood and stared at his feet.

When I got closer, I could hear him talking. He was naming all of the colors of small pebbles he saw by his feet. Again, I saw some colors, but to me, they were mostly brown or tan. Rob saw so many more colors than I did, until I finally slowed down and really looked. He will stare at a fire – flowers blowing – blades of grass. He is in his element in nature.

Something else I’ve learned. For Casey and Rob, looking into someone eyes is very distracting. They have both told me that eyes move. I couldn’t understand what they meant until I really studied how the eye works and understood that they were seeing the pupil constantly move. They also see the different colors in people’s eyes. You may think your eyes are blue or brown, but to Casey and Rob, there are lots of colors in them and those colors are distracting.

I’ve often heard people with autism say “I can listen to you or I can look you in the eye.” That is definitely Casey and Rob. That is one of the first things I try to explain to new people they meet – they are always listening, no matter what they are doing. Please be aware of this when you talk around your child. Even when they are completely occupied with something, they are listening!

One thing does surprise me with their eye sight. I know they are both very sensitive, but sunlight doesn’t bother either of them. They have sun glasses and might wear them, but they don’t insist on it. I would think that if they see so many details, that sunlight would be hard to handle, but they don’t seem to care.

I do know a few people with autism who choose to wear dark glasses as much as possible to try and block out some of the constant details that are always around them. Rob had a really hard time in stores as a little guy because he saw the lights constantly flickering. Casey would have meltdowns because the flickering lights were making her feel sick. If your child has a hard time in stores, try putting sunglasses on or letting them wear a hat they can pull low over their face. Movies theaters are also difficult because of the flashing lights in the dark room.

When your child has a meltdown, try to write down where you are, what is around you – you may discover their problem is too much visual stimulation and they can’t get away from it. This may also be the cause of your child wanting to walk with their eyes closed. Bumping into things is easier than dealing with the constant stimulation of colors and shapes around them.

Autism and the Sense of Taste

Autism and the Sense of Taste

Ever since she was small, Casey has been able to eat weird combinations of foods.  One day when she was about 7, she ate almost half a pound of raw hamburger.  I was thawing it and she got a spoon and ate all she could.  I’ll be honest – I almost threw up when I found her. 

She would grab a spoon and a container of chip dip and eat it like pudding.  She ate anything and everything.  Now, I know that her sense of taste is definitely hypo-sensitive.  It’s only been in the last few years I have found a few things that she doesn’t like. She won’t eat pickles of any type.

She doesn’t care for sliced tomatoes but loves the cherry ones. She is not a fan of chocolate and will only eat a few types of chocolate candy. She doesn’t like chocolate ice cream, pudding or milkshakes.

Last year, she discovered salt and pepper. She had often put salt on a few things, but now… Now…. It’s a battle to control her salt usage. She covers food with pepper. I’ve even switched the salt and pepper shakers so very little salt comes out. This over-seasoning is more proof that her sense of taste is definitely hypo-sensitive.

Rob only puts salt on fries and chicken nuggets. He ate almost everything as a little guy. I think it was just before puberty that his sense of taste changed. He ate pizza, spaghetti, chili – and then he didn’t. It wasn’t a gradual process. He just stopped. I don’t know if his anxiety increased at puberty and caused more sensory issues or if the sensory issues caused his anxiety.

Either way, he became a picky eater. For years, he refused to try anything new and nothing gooey could be on his plate. Luckily, he ate most meats and always his fruits and veggies.

He is willing to try new foods now – even gooey ones. It doesn’t always go well as I’ve seen him gag on the tiniest bite, but he does try. I never force him to eat anything, though – that’s a recipe for disaster and I sincerely hope you never let anyone force your child to eat. Rob has had that happen to him. He remembers that.

Rob’s issues with foods aren’t necessarily caused by having a hyper-sensitive sense of taste. His are more likely the texture of the food and not the taste, or lack of it. He does tend to stick with foods that are more bland so there may be certain things that he tastes more strongly.

He tastes sour things more strongly than she does and absolutely cannot stand to taste anything bitter. Bitter doesn’t appear to bother her as she chews medicines with no issues. She loves sour foods – foods that you and I wouldn’t be able to eat, she has no reaction to.

If you want to discover how your child’s sense of taste is affected, start keeping a list of what he or she will eat – what foods they avoid – and if they like to add salt to everything. Once you start comparing the foods on your list, I’m sure you will find whether your child is hyper (too sensitive) or hypo (not sensitive enough) to each taste – salty, sweet, sour and bitter. This might give you an idea of what type of foods to offer your child and what to stay away from.

Honestly, it never occurred to me until recently how strongly Casey’s sense of taste is affected. As I wrote this, I kept thinking of other foods that prove just how little she tastes. She is a good eater (and tends to overeat, thanks to one of her meds) and I just never stopped to think about how she eats. I always thought Rob was the sense of taste that bothered him, but after really thinking about it, Casey is the one with more issues. How I never noticed that is beyond me.

Hopefully, once you see a pattern in how your child tastes, you can come up with a plan to help them experiment with new foods. Just remember, taste is also affected by smell, touch and sight, so you may have to do more digging into those senses before you really know what is going on with your child.

Autism and Sensitive Ears

Autism and Sensitive Ears

Since sensory issues are one of the questions I hear most often, I thought the next few weeks, I would talk about each of the six senses and how they affect people with autism. Remember – senses can be “hyper” which means too sensitive or “hypo” which means not sensitive enough.

Because how sensitive their ears are cause Casey and Rob so many issues, I’ll start with hearing.

When Casey was younger, she kept her fingers in her ears any time we went some place new, until she knew what kinds of sounds might be present. It wasn’t just loud piercing noises that could cause her to scream in pain – even low, rumbling noises could be terrifying to her.

It took me a long time to understand why she hated certain restaurants so much. Because of her screams, we just avoided going to them, but finally, I heard it. The HVAC systems were running and she couldn’t handle the noises they made. Honestly, I could barely hear it and probably would have never realized it, if I didn’t happen to see her looking up at the vents with a terrified look on her face. It took years before we attempted those places again (thank God for drive-thrus! 🙂 )

I avoided using the air conditioning in our car when she was young because it was guaranteed to set off screams. Even on the hottest days, we left windows down. I tried once to turn it on and she panicked and tried to get out of the moving car. Again, it was years later before we used it and now, she doesn’t have any issues with it at all.

Casey was 5 when we decided to try Auditory Integration Therapy. At the time, it was best hit or miss, but her dad and I both felt like it was something we had to try. My mom and I took the three kids to Cincinnati for two weeks. Casey was 5, Mandy 3 and Rob just 9 or 10 months old. Yep – we lived in a hotel for two weeks. Casey had hour long sessions twice a day. And she didn’t like it – at all. After a few days, she settled down for them but still was happy to be out of the room.

She started on Monday. Friday evening, their dad and my dad came to spend the weekend with us. Saturday morning, my dad asked Casey what she wanted for breakfast (we always asked her questions – even when she never answered) and she said, “Donut!” I wish there had been a camera on us – four adults were in complete shock. She never answered questions! I couldn’t get her a donut fast enough – I would have given her a box of them if she would have asked.

Over the next several weeks, she needed to cover her ears less and she began to speak a little more. Her words were clear and appropriate. Her painful screams diminished. For Casey, AIT was a success. She still covers her ears at times, but she has learned what might hurt and doesn’t panic and run like she used to.

Enclosed areas with crowds of people are hard for both of them to handle. The dull roar of people talking – the sounds of people moving around – it’s just too much for them for very long.

Rob never put his fingers in his ears like Casey does. When he was little, he wore ear protection (like hunters do) everywhere. The fire drill at school could send him into a curled up ball of tears. Train whistles, parades, certain music – it was all painful to him. He wasn’t able to filter out background noise to hear what I was saying clearly, so many of his words were mixed up. Sammerich (sandwich), to-par (pop tart), and so many others that he switched like first and last letters. He simply couldn’t hear the words clearly.

As he has grown up, his words have become much clearer, but he still struggles with new things. He still doesn’t seem to hear everything correctly – I’ve discovered that by watching him try to spell things as he hears them. Again, this is constantly getting better and is rarely an issue now.

I am still very careful about loud noises around Rob. He doesn’t run from the shop vac, anymore, and doesn’t care about kitchen appliances (Casey screamed any time I used the mixer or sweeper) but loud trucks are sure to cause pain. When we went to a parade a few years ago, a bug truck blew its air horn and he about came out of his seat. He was anxious and scared, so Mandy, Cory and I took turns standing behind him with our hands over his ears so he could enjoy the rest of the parade.

I’m sure I’ve shared before that Rob is my little weatherman. I know when the barometer changes, he can feel it. He knows when rain or snow is coming. About a year ago, I finally discovered he feels it in his ears. I don’t know why or how, but that’s how he knows. His ears can feel the difference in pressure. He also doesn’t like wind – constant wind causes extreme anxiety for him and I’m sure it’s the constant sounds of it that get to him.

When your child is first diagnosed, it may be hard for you to know what is going on with their hearing. It took me a long time to realize what was going on with Casey – at that time, there weren’t a million books about sensory issues to read. Everything I did was by guess and hope for the best. I noticed it much sooner with Rob, as I was looking for it. He loved his headphones (they also provided deep pressure and he loved that) Casey has never liked headphones – whether to protect her from sounds or to listen to music. She absolutely will not use them.

The most important thing to remember is certain noises, even if you don’t hear them or they don’t bother you, are painful to people with hyper-sensitive hearing. Please, don’t tell your child to stop making a big deal of sounds. They aren’t “faking” anything, but simply trying to get away from something painful. A child with hypersensitive hearing may run from sounds, scream, keep their head covered, fingers in their ears or may refuse to go into an area that is too loud for them.

Please keep in mind that your child may have hyposensitive hearing also. They may not acknowledge certain sounds, such as an alarm, or voices simply because they don’t hear them well enough. Your child may not be ignoring you when you talk – they may not be able to distinguish what you are saying.

Everyone has certain sounds that they can’t stand (nails on a chalkboard, anyone?) but we learn to adapt to those sounds or how to avoid them. You will need to help your child adapt or avoid painful noises. You may need to offer ear protection or to avoid certain places. You may need to talk to a speech or occupational therapist for ideas. Casey puts his fingers in her ears often. Rob tends to avoid or run from noises that bother him.

Whatever else you do – just remember that your child isn’t faking. It’s hard to handle sometimes, but it’s your job as the adult to help your child adapt or avoid.

Autism and Doing Things “Our” Way

Autism and Doing Things “Our” Way

I was really struggling to decide what I wanted to write about this week. I don’t know about anyone else, but the last few weeks have been a blur. I haven’t even posted much on our Facebook page. I don’t know why – I just don’t think about it or I’m too tired. Anyway, several weeks ago, Casey used fabric markers and spray paint (for fabrics) to decorate three shirts. She had been asking to tie dye for months, but we just hadn’t gotten around to it and when she finally had a choice, she picked the other way to decorate.

But – as typical Casey – she didn’t forget about the tie dying. She absolutely loves anything tie-dyed. The brighter, the better. She even has crocs that are tie dyed (tho she rarely wears them – I don’t think they are as comfy as she thought they would be). Mandy bought her two white shirts on sale and Casey began to remind me every few days she wanted to tie-dye them. Finally, last week, I remembered to order the stuff and today, we did her shirts.

I can’t even begin to tell you how excited she was! Huge grin, eyes sparkling, dancing around. I had looked up how to make different patterns and couldn’t wait to show her.

Casey, as usual, had her own ideas.

She carefully told me where to put rubber bands on the first shirt (one snapped, so she refused to try it herself). I just started to tell her how to put the dye to make patterns when the dye started flying. She went up and down the shirt squeezing the bottle as hard as she could and all ideas for special designs went out the window. But, as I stood and watched her carefully squeeze dye where she thought it needed to be, I noticed the twinkle in her eye and the big smile on her face. And I knew what my blog today would be about. It’s really simple – there is more than one way to do things.

Sometimes, we get so stuck on how we think things should be – how children will walk down a hall, how to tie shoes, how to sit at a desk, how to hold a pencil – that we forget not everyone thinks like us. And that is even more important when you have a child with special needs. They are incredibly able to adapt situations to fit their own needs. We forget that – I think because, especially with people with communication issues – because they won’t speak up for themselves and say “I want to do it this way!”

When she finished with the first shirt, she looked at me. I knew by the look in her eyes, she was wondering how to do the other one differently. I told her she could “color between the rubber bands” and that’s what she did – in her own pattern and squeezing as much dye as she could into each area. She still had the big smile and now she was giggling about it, too. I would have missed those special moments if I had made her do it the way I thought she should.

Living with autism for more than 30 years has taught me many things but the most important is to always think outside the box. Think outside what is considered “normal.” It doesn’t matter how you get to your goal, as long as you keep making progress in that direction. I had some wild ideas to help the kids when they were little. Some worked, some didn’t. And that’s okay. We just moved on past the ones that didn’t work and kept moving forward. Don’t get caught up in “the way it’s always been done.” Just because something has always been done one way doesn’t mean there aren’t better ways to do it.

Let your child be your guide. Use their interests (obsessions) to help teach other skills. Elmo showed Casey many things and I used lots of lines from the original Willy Wonka and Wizard of Oz to help Rob understand things. He knew those movies – he understood the words so I used them in odd ways, but it worked. Always think outside the box – who cares how silly something seems, as long as it helps your child?

Casey has very definite ideas about how her clothes need to be folded and put away. Rob couldn’t care less about how they are folded, but they need to be in a certain place in his room. And both ways are okay. Their laundry is folded and not on my dining room table, so I’m happy. I’m not going to ask either of them to do their laundry the way the other does.

Your child may be having sensory issues and that may be why they can’t do things the way you think they should. Maybe your perfume is too strong. Or the lights are flickering so much they can’t concentrate. Maybe their shirt is painful or they are hungry. Until your child can tell you why they don’t want to do things your way, you have to learn to relax and be happy they will do it their way.

There are a million ways of doing things. As long as your child is making progress, who cares how they get there? Relax and be happy!