One of the worst things an autism parent can do is focus too much on the future. By that, I mean that you get yourself too scared of the “what ifs” to really see the small steps your child is making every day.
Life is too overwhelming if you focus too much on what your child needs – there is so much! Obviously, you are always aware of those needs and they are never far from your mind, but you can’t live your life that way.
You need to stay present to help your child. For example, if your child is having a meltdown, don’t start thinking of a future full of screams and kicking. Take slow deep breaths and only focus on the next minute. Get through that one and think of the next. If you start thinking this will be your life forever, you will have a meltdown, too.
When we are having a bad day, I forget about everything. All I think about is getting us through that day. Tomorrow will take care of itself. You can’t help your child through a bad time if you are thinking of tomorrow or next week or next month.
After your child calms down is soon enough to think about what needs done to prevent it from happening again. Do you need to schedule a doctor visit? Adjust medications? Talk to the teacher? One small step at a time.
Yes – you want to dream and have hopes for your child – always! But thinking too far in the future during a bad time will only make you think you are dreaming too high. Some days, your focus simply needs to be to take that next deep breath.
It’s the same with the endless paperwork. If you feel overwhelmed by it, you might not even start. So tell yourself you will only do one page and stop. When you break it all down into very small steps, you get it done without losing your mind. (By the way… When you fill out forms, make a copy. It’s do much easier the next time when you have all the information right there!)
Yes, plan for the future, but keep your plans fluid. Every day, your child will change and plans may need to reflect that. Just don’t let the future turn into a black hole. When you are having a rough time, stop thinking too far.
Remind yourself all you have to do is breathe. The next minute will take care of itself.
When you have a child with autism, life skills need to be high on the list for what needs to be taught. I’m not saying that typical school subjects aren’t important, but life skills will help your child gain a little independence – even if they always live with you.
I’ll admit – while Casey and Rob do have chores to take care of, I haven’t always pushed them to do more. When I’m tired, I just want things done – not take the time to show them how to do something. I try to remember, tho.
Over the last few days, I’ve been reminded how much Rob loves to help me. And that Casey will usually say “no” as she’s getting up to do whatever I asked. After several months of dealing with a foot injury, I ended up in a hard cast and am supposed to stay off my foot as much as possible.
Luckily, I’m able to put weight on it for a few steps here and there, so I’m not completely helpless and I have a knee scooter to get around the house with. But, doing some things are a little tricky.
So I’ve asked Casey and Rob to help. He filled Blue’s water dish. She got the crock pot for me. He poured drinks for lunch. She folded laundry. They both packed their own lunches yesterday.
Are these huge things? Maybe not, but it shows again how important it is for our kids to understand they are part of the family and need to help when they can. Casey laughed about getting the crock pot and he was so proud he carried a bowl of water without spilling it. So, yes – these things are huge!
When there are so many other things your child with autism needs to learn, I understand that life skills are just a bother. But – imagine how much easier their life will be if they can brush their own teeth – wash their hair – choose their outfits. (I’ll be the first to say Casey sometimes chooses … How do I say this… Loud outfits, but she’s happy and excited, so who cares??)
Having autism is not an excuse to do nothing for yourself. Let your kids learn that – autism is not a free pass. Having said that, obviously, there are better times than others to work on life skills. If your child’s anxiety is high, you’ll make it worse forcing them to perfectly brush their teeth. But, teach them!
People with autism are capable of so many things, but they have to be given the chance to try. Will they succeed the first time? Probably not… But do you? How many things did you have to try over and over before you got it? Why should your child be any different? Again – autism is not an excuse!
Rob likes to help with cooking and to clean mirrors/windows. Are they always streak-free? Nope, but they aren’t always perfect when I do them, either. He likes to flip pancakes. Sometimes they land where he doesn’t want them to. So we try again.
Casey always folds her clothes and has to be reminded to fold others, but she will. She will help with cooking as long as it’s not near the stove – she is very worried about getting burned.
I’m sure in the next few months, they will continue to surprise me with what they can do. And what they are proud to do to help me. Let your children help you before you need the help. Give them the chance to be proud of what they can do. It’s the best of both worlds!
When you have a child with autism, fear is never far from your mind. Fear for their safety. Fear they will need something and not be able to communicate that need. Fear they will be teased. Fear they will be lonely. The list goes on and on. But, despite the fears, you have to let them go. You have to let them try new things, go new places, meet new people. Will it always be a good experience? Probably not… but you have to let go.
One of the pages I follow just had a post from a mom who is upset that her son’s teacher wants to transition him to another class. She is actually pretty mad about it. She thinks her son is not ready and is not telling everyone how much he is regressing, despite glowing reports from his therapists and aide. She asked for help in forcing the school to do what she wants.
The thing is, I completely understand her fear. It’s terrifying to let your child be near new people that you don’t know. It’s scary to change a routine that he/she depends on. And really, as autism parents, we learn to live in that routine and we don’t want to change it, either. It’s what we know. But, your child deserves the chance to try. By holding your child in the same place, it may be easier on you, but it also keeps your child from growing. It’s not fair to your child.
I’m sure this mom sees behaviors at home that the school doesn’t see. I’m also sure that her son shows more skills at school than he does at home. Every child does. I’m constantly hearing about things that Casey and Rob will do for others, but when I ask, they look at me like I’m speaking in German. Let’s face it – kids always act worse for parents because they know no matter what, we’ll love them forever. When I was teaching, so many parents would say they had no idea their child could do something because they refused to do it at home. It happens.
But, if your child’s teacher and therapists are seeing amazing progress, it’s time to let go a little. No good teacher will move a child before he/she is ready. Ask for a meeting with the teacher and therapists and listen to their plan. You may not like it, but you can ask questions and share your concerns. Go meet the new teacher. If it’s a new school, tour the entire school and take your child to visit.
The change in routine may not be easy and you need to understand there may be a few rough weeks or months, but ultimately, pushing your child to stretch and learn is what you need to do. You know how you feel when you try something new and really like it? Your child deserves the chance to find what they like, too. They need pushed to keep learning and growing.
Try not to let your child see your fears. Make the change sound like fun and, if you have to, pretend you are excited about it. Do what you need to do to alleviate your anxiety. If the teacher is a good one, he/she will completely understand your anxiety and will do everything they can to help you. Visit the class and see the children who will become your child’s friends. See how the teacher runs the class – you’ll be able to offer her/him ideas on how your child will fit in the best. You can share your child’s strengths and your fears.
With autism, change is rarely easy. Life is unpredictable and it won’t hurt your child to learn that. The good thing with letting go is that you can prepare your child (and yourself!) for changes and grow together. It’s scary. But letting your child try is the best thing you can do for him/her. Remember – always reach for the stars. You won’t get there if you keep your child in one spot forever.
Casey and Rob both got glowing comments from their doctor last week. He was so happy with their progress and loved that when he walked in the room, Casey looked up and said, “Hi Max!” (his first name! 🙂 ) I reminded her that she needs to call him Dr. Wiznitzer, but he laughed and said she could call him anything she wanted.
During their visit, we decided to try lowering Casey’s medications again. We made a huge jump over the last year in the amount she takes and are hoping she can continue to wean off of it as it is one that can increase her appetite. She doesn’t seem to have an opinion one way or the other, but when I told her Friday morning she only needed half of the pill, she looked at me and said “Not sick?” Honestly, that broke my heart – that she has been thinking she needs to take pills because she is sick.
So we had a short and sweet talk about how taking pills doesn’t always mean you are sick – that sometimes, pills help your brain work better. I told her the white pill helps keep her from getting upset. She couldn’t have cared less – she only wanted her yogurt and her iPad. But, at least I tried.
I knew the doctor would want to talk about reducing Rob’s, too. He’s been pretty stable for about two years, so it was time, but man – I’m worried. His anxiety can be ugly and painful and I’m honestly scared to death about lowering one of them. But – I don’t want him taking medications he doesn’t need anymore, so we’re going to try. Slowly. Right now, three of his medications can cause weight gain, so for his health, we need to lower them, if possible. Slowly. Can I repeat that?? Slowly!
Finding the right dose for medications is so hard. Most of the time, several medications need to be tried until you find the one that works without making the person feel “off.” And then increasing the level until you see they are helping. It’s a frustrating process.
And lowering them is just as hard. How do I know if Rob’s anxiety is caused by the lower dose or the full moon? Or the wind? Or something that happened that he can’t tell me about? How do I know if he is talking more because he’s trying to ease anxiety or just because it’s a beautiful day and he wants to sing? Is Casey getting irritable because of the lower dose or is she just having a bad day? (And – let’s not forget – autism or not, people have bad days!)
I know that I won’t see any difference in them, yet. It’s only been a few days and the medications need to work out of their systems, but I’m dreading the next few weeks. I’m tired just thinking about it. Should I be? No, of course not – all I have to do is give them their previous doses. The doctor was quite clear on that – I don’t even need to call him back. Just give it to them.
No – I’m tired knowing that I can never be sure why they are acting the way they do. I can’t be sure it’s the lower medication. I’m tired thinking of them not sleeping or of his anxiety or her getting irritated at the smallest thing. I’m tired before I need to be. That’s the thing with being a parent to someone who can’t easily communicate their needs – every thing I do is a guess. Sure, sometimes, now, they tell me when they are sick and need to see a doctor. But will they be able to tell me that they feel better with more of their medication? Probably not.
It will work out of their system so slowly, they may not even feel it – until the irritation and anxiety show up. And, if it does show up, I still need to wait a few days to see if it’s just a bad day or whether the meds need to be bumped back up. I think Casey will be okay with the lower dose – and it is much easier with her. Her irritation is obvious.
With Rob – it’s hard. He loves to vocally-stim. Which is what he does – louder – when his anxiety is high. It won’t be as easy to see. I’m tired just thinking about what the next several weeks might be like. I’m trying to ignore the negative and think positive! But, I’m also a realist – I’ve been through medication changes too many times to think they are always for the best. Fingers crossed!
What I want you to remember is that you know your child better than the doctor does. Listen to his/her advice, but make sure you share your thoughts! Do some research on the medications that are mentioned – ask your pharmacist questions, too. If you aren’t comfortable with a medicine, ask what other options there are. And if your doctor won’t listen to you, find another doctor. You have long journey ahead of you – you need a doctor you can trust and who is willing to listen to your thoughts. Write down your child’s behaviors when you start the medicine and keep a journal – that is the best way to know if the medication is working. Trust me – you won’t remember as much as you think you will.
Wish us luck. Maybe send a twelve pack of Coke and some dark chocolate our way. I may need it! 🙂
Later this week, I’ll be taking Casey and Rob to their annual neurology appointment. I just realized that I have been making this trip – two hours from home – for 29 years. Casey was 4 when she was officially diagnosed and I was nine months pregnant with Rob. For the first two years, I had to take Casey every six months, then, when things got especially crazy for her, we went every three months for two years. By the time Rob was diagnosed, we were back to once a year.
I was thinking about the mom I was way back then. I remember being in the doctor’s office and not being too upset when he said “autism.” I had a pretty good idea before we went and, honestly, my biggest concern was to make it home without going into labor. She wasn’t sick, she wasn’t in pain. How bad could autism be? (remember – this was before everyone knew someone with autism and not much information was available anywhere!)
Casey was already in speech and a special needs preschool so there wasn’t much I could have changed. She adored Mandy and she loved her teachers. She was fearless. At that point, she just wouldn’t say much. Again – how bad could autism be?
If I could talk to that young mom from back then, I have so many things to tell her.
I would tell her that there would be days that autism would suck. That there would be days she would sit on the kitchen floor and cry from exhaustion. That sensory meltdowns would be terrible – that she would feel helpless and alone as she tried to help her beautiful little girl.
I would tell her that autism is amazing. That every day, she would find something to be happy about. That she would never take for granted a smile or a hug. That she would be happy with any words – even the ones that Casey shouldn’t say, just because she was talking! I would tell her she is stronger than she thought.
I would tell her that there are more good people than bad in this world, but that bad people are louder and meaner than she could imagine. I would tell her that standing up for her daughter would be hard and she would make people mad – but she would learn to not care. I would tell her that, even as she hated being “that mom”, people would come to respect her strength for fighting for her kids.
I would tell her that it doesn’t matter what others think. That Casey had every right to go places and try new things – and if someone didn’t like it, tough. I would tell her to not be embarrassed about autism. That she should live her life as she wanted and show Casey a world that wasn’t quite ready for her.
I would tell her she would experience lows that she wouldn’t think she could get through – but she would. I would tell her the happy times would far outweigh the bad, even when she felt the bad times would never end. I would tell her to keep dreaming for Casey, Mandy and Rob – that they would be fine.
I would tell her to ask for help when she needed it – that it’s good to be strong, but it’s okay to need help, too. I would remind her that her family was only a phone call away – she just needed to pick up the phone and ask. I would tell her that she can’t imagine the hurts that she will have to deal with – but that she would deal with them and move on…. stronger and happier than ever.
I would tell her that the struggles would be worth it. That she can handle anything. That when she worries, it’s worries that Casey and Rob don’t care about. I would tell her that Casey and Rob (and Mandy!) would struggle, but she will be able to help them. She will teach them strength and resilience and kindness and fun. She will laugh with them – she will be messy with them. Most importantly, I would tell that young mom that her kids will be okay. They will be amazing.
I would tell her that professionals aren’t always right – she will know her child better than anyone. It will be hard to stand up to them, but she can do it!
And that’s what I want all new autism parents to know. You will struggle. You will cry. You will be furious and hurt and tired and stressed. You will also be blessed to be able to be grateful for the little things in life. You will see the magic in every day, because your child will show you. It may be hard to see at times, but you will learn to see the love and you will know that through everything else, autism won’t define your child any more than the color of their hair.
Casey has been on edge this week. While I have seen her beautiful smile and twinkling eyes often, I’ve also seen the irritable side of her. The one that OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) grabs and won’t let go at times. She has been “off” and I’m not sure what to blame.
We did have a big storm that was supposed to hit us, but luckily, it went around. Rob was especially loud that afternoon, as the barometer dropped. The weather does affect her, but not always as bad as it does him. She was just grouchy. I completely understand that everyone has off days and they bounce back, but she’s been different for almost a week.
She’s focused on her calendar and keeps repeating things she wants to do, even when I tell her I will not put ride the rides at the fair on her October calendar, yet. Nor will I write when we will go to the water park. Or when Mandy’s baby is coming. And when I put her off and explain that I can’t write things I don’t know, she snorts and flips her hair. (Oh my God – the attitude!) She wants things written down – NOW!
She wants Cory’s car show at the fairgrounds and is irritated that it is on Main Street this year. She wants Anna’s birthday, Lacey’s birthday, July 4th, a cookout at Hopewell, and sparklers – and she wants it all written on her calendar. Now. I have written everything I can, but I can’t write that we will have cake for Anna and Lacey because I don’t know when or if that will happen. So, she snorts and flips her hair again. (Yes, her hair is short, but the way she flips her head, I know what she is doing!)
She is irritated that there isn’t any laundry in the dryer. Or that I can’t tell her what we are having for supper – tomorrow night!
But – there are happy smiles, too, so I know this isn’t something that needs addressed with her doctor, yet. If she was nothing but irritable, I’d be concerned, but she’s just picking and choosing what to get upset about and driving me nuts in the process. Because, once she gets fixated on something, as you know, she can repeat it until I want to scream. A conservative guess for discussions about the car show yesterday (it isn’t until mid July!) would be near 100.
I surprised them Thursday with a trip to the zoo. They both love the zoo. He wants to see turtles – she just likes being there. This time, she slept all the way over (about 90 minutes) and then basically stayed completely serious/on edge until we had lunch. She started asking a few minutes after we arrived – way too early for lunch. She barely looked at anything until we finally had lunch, then she perked up and looked around. She got fixated on lunch and nothing would make her happy until we ate.
Her OCD is really grabbing her lately and it won’t let go. I haven’t changed any meds, so that’s not it. She is happy between compulsions (and really, the compulsions aren’t affecting anything but our conversations, so far) so I don’t feel she needs to see her doctor. What I would like to know is why.
Is it the weather? The phase of the moon? Is she not sleeping enough? Is something going on that I don’t know about? Is she going to have anxiety issues like Rob does? Or – and most of the time, I truly believe this – is she just trying to keep me on my toes? 🙂 Wouldn’t want Mom to get too comfy in how well things are going for them, would we?
But really, that’s the autism is. You have routines for years that can’t be changed at all, then all of a sudden, no one cares about those routines. You can’t eat certain foods, then you can. You can’t wear certain clothes, then you can. You can sleep all night, then you can’t. You can eat chips, then you can’t. You can’t brush your teeth, then you can.
Autism is like dancing. Sometimes, it’s slow and steady like a waltz – the same steps repeated over and over in a beautiful pattern. And then… Irish jig time. No one tells you the steps, only that you have to keep up and not stop. And you are out of breath and wondering what the heck is going on.
Yep – been there, done that. I’m just thankful that, so far, Casey is only repeating things constantly. She isn’t getting mad or having a meltdown, just getting irritable and pushy about what she wants. I can handle this. I can answer her without really thinking if I need to. And when I get close to losing my mind…..
I offer her a cookie. It’s not bribery – it’s behavior modification. 🙂
Honestly, the sense of touch is messed up with both Casey and Rob. They are both a mixture of hyper-sensitive and hypo- sensitive when it comes to their skin.
Rob will dig at insect bites until they are bleeding because he doesn’t feel the pain. He doesn’t notice cuts or bruises. He had a broken collar bone and it took hours for him to slow down enough that I knew something was wrong.
I have to turn his shower water on because he won’t notice how hot it is and will get burned. He burned his finger badly as a teen because he laid his hand against a hot pan and didn’t notice. He doesn’t notice sun burn or the sting of a bee. (However, he has had bad reactions to insect stings and ended up in ER, so he is afraid of them.)
He needs the weight of many blankets to be able to sleep as he can’t feel the pressure of just one. He loves standing in pouring water for the deep pressure it provides.
But – his sense of touch is hyper in some areas, as certain food textures will make him gag. He can’t wear certain fabrics as he will break out in a rash. His body temp does not regulate well, as he can overheat but not feel cold.
He enjoys his skin being “brushed” (a light tickle that I never thought he would notice). He also likes being lightly tickled on his arms and back, but he also enjoys tight bear hugs. It’s always a question whether he needs more or less of something.
Casey gets hot and cold easily. She can adjust her bath water so it’s not too hot. She will jerk away from hot things and she’ll wear almost any fabric. Sunburn doesn’t bother her and she rarely picks at insect bites.
But – she doesn’t feel pain. She sliced her leg on a mattress spring (it was nearly new – I still don’t know how it happened!) and the only way I knew was she was in the bathroom forever and I went to check only to find her patiently putting bandaids on her leg. It took 16 staples to close the gash.
She is terrified of needles because they hurt, but can stub her toe and not notice. She doesn’t like water pouring on her and food textures are not a problem. She is afraid of bees, but I think it’s because Rob and Mandy don’t like them, so she just follows their lead. 😊
The sense of touch can affect your child in so many ways. Things you never thought of – the seam in their sock, the tags in their clothes, how hard their chair is, whether they can sleep at night or even whether they can concentrate in school. After all, imagine trying to concentrate when all you can focus on is how tight your shoe feels.
It can also be dangerous when a person has hypo-sensitive touch. Just like Rob’s collar bone and Casey’s cut leg – injuries can be severe and they won’t notice. And when an injury does occur, you have to be really vigilant about how it’s healing. They aren’t able to tell you if it starts hurting more or is getting infected. It’s another thing to consider if your child pulls away from you and doesn’t like hugs. It’s hard not to take that personally, but in reality, it’s probably their sense of touch.
If your child is having behaviors, definitely consider everything they wear – what they are sitting on – how they hold pencils. Their behaviors might be as simple as a tag in their shirt rubbing their neck. (Tagless clothes are amazing!) When you have a child like Casey or Rob, who are both hyper and hypo sensitive, it’s difficult to know what is causing the behavior. Like everything else with autism, it can be tricky to discover the root cause. The best way is to write down everything your child is wearing each day and watch for a pattern. It’s a pain to do, but if you can discover the issue, your child will be so much happier! (and so will you! 🙂 )
Autism and the Proprioceptive and Vestibular Senses
I’m sure many of you wondered if I knew what I was talking about several weeks ago when I mentioned I would be talking about the six senses. Many people have never heard of the proprioceptive and vestibular senses and they are ones that can really affect people with autism. Rob and Casey both have issues with their proprioceptive/vestibular senses.
Basically, the proprioceptive sense tells your brain where your body is. Like – closing your eyes and being able to touch your nose with your finger. Rob can’t do it. Casey can, but she struggles with it. It also tells you whether your feet are on concrete or grass. Receptors for the proprioceptive sense are deep in joints and muscles. You need your proprioceptive sense for smooth body movements so it is vitally important for all motor skills.
Vestibular sense is more for balance and spatial orientation. It helps you balance on one foot. It’s how your body understand how you are moving – like what direction and how fast, even whether or not you are moving. So many people on the autism spectrum have problems with fine or gross motor skills and these two sense are the reasons why. Just like with the other five senses, a person can have a hyper or hypo sense of their body and how it’s moving.
Rob struggles more with proprioceptive issues that Casey does. He needs deep pressure to help his body know where it is and how it is moving. When he was younger, this was a much larger issue and he often had a weighted vest on or a weighted lap belt in school. I also used wrist weights with him (don’t buy the “sensory ones” – buy ones that people use to work out. The cost is about a tenth of the sensory ones!) when he was struggling to write. As odd as it sounds, his handwriting is beautiful – nearly perfect. His sense of order demanded perfect letters, even as his body couldn’t easily write them. This caused him to have a lot of anxiety and still does at times, but he has learned that he doesn’t have to be perfect. 🙂
Ankle weights (again, go to the sporting goods section!) are also wonderful tools to help someone with proprioceptive issues. Weighted blankets can help them regulate their body and sleep better. Casey loves lots of blankets piled on her, but she doesn’t need them like he does. As a child, her handwriting wasn’t good and it still isn’t. Now, it is more that she simply doesn’t like to write (though this could be a sensory issue) – she loves to color and draw, though. But – writing is a very precise activity where her art is more whatever she likes.
I’m sure Rob’s issues with his vestibular sense were the main cause of his many accidents as a child. He was clumsy and could trip over a piece of string. He fell into our concrete porch steps and needed stitches. He fell down the last few steps into our basement and earned a helicopter ride to a children’s hospital when he wouldn’t wake up the next morning. He jumped down a flight of stairs and broke his collar bone. And the list goes on…. His vestibular sense didn’t help him and he wasn’t afraid of anything. A really bad combination! (How he jumped off the roof of our house and never got hurt is beyond me!)
Rob also used a platform swing when he was in elementary school. It was right in the classroom and he could lay flat on it as he practiced saying his spelling words and math facts. We quickly discovered that what he learned as he was swinging stuck with him. He learned so much easier when he was swinging. The swing moved to the junior high with him, but he didn’t seem to need it as much. The swinging movement calmed his vestibular and proprioceptive senses enough that he was able to concentrate.
Equine therapy was also a huge blessing for both of them. While on the horse, they practiced many things. many of the games involved throwing bean bags at specific colors or shapes (they knew these, but having to throw the bean bag required their body to learn how to do what their mind wanted, if that makes sense – it could be a struggle, especially for Casey). They learned to shoot basketballs with both hands on either side of their horse. “Crossing mid-line” is a big issue. This means their right hand never goes to the left side of their body and vice versa.
A big indicator of a child with vestibular or proprioceptive issues might be when they are writing. If they switch hands when they get to the middle of the paper, you may want to keep an eye out for other signs. An occupational therapist can give you suggestions to help your child. Casey switched hands as a child, but she is definitely right handed now. Rob switched, too, and favors his right hand, but uses his left often.
Fine motor skills, such as cutting, writing, buttoning and tying shoes, can be a problem for children with hyper or hypo vestibular and proprioceptive senses. Casey seems to have worked through her struggles and while she does have problems once in a while, for the most part, she does everything she needs/wants to do. Rob still can’t tie his shoes. I’ll admit, we worked on it for years and years and then decided it wasn’t a battle worth fighting anymore. He might be able to do it, now, but he likes his slip on shoes and will ask for help if he needs, so it’s not likely a skill I will push him on. There are other things that are more important.
If you suspect your child might have vestibular issues, try spinning or jumping with them several times a day. A small trampoline works well or an exercise ball that they can sit on. (Rob sat on one at the desk in his room for several years.) There are also small seats that you can place on chairs that allow your child some movement while still sitting still. Swinging is another great option. Anything that will help your child learn to control the movements of their body (and have fun!) is great. I wouldn’t recommend riding a bike, though – at least not until they have a little more control. 🙂
For proprioceptive problems, try weighted items. Swinging may help with this, too. As with everything else, what works for one child may not work for another. Try something new and see how your child reacts. It is obvious fairly quickly what they like and what helps.
An occupational therapist should be able to give you more ideas on what may help your child. Don’t be afraid to ask – sensory issues are not always the first thing people think of and those issues are often the root of so many problems.
This has been a busy week for us and there has been a lot of excitement about the Easter Bunny coming. Because tomorrow will be a day of celebrating, family, and fun, I thought I would post today.
Ever since Grandpa Mack’s birthday, Casey has been thinking about Easter. (Tomorrow, after her bath, she’ll start thinking about my birthday because it’s the next “holiday” 😊) We colored eggs last weekend, which threw her off a little. We usually do it the day before Easter. But – little changes like this are good for her.
Coloring eggs is something Rob truly and completely loves so this year, Mandy and I decided to go big and boiled six dozen eggs. She had different kinds of egg decorating kits for Casey to try. Rob is strictly a dip in one color and wait guy.
As soon as Mandy got here, Rob sat at the table to wait. He even followed us outside with the dogs to be sure we didn’t forget exactly what needed to happen. 😊 When we went back in the house, he went right to the table again.
Casey tried a few different things, but she was done quickly. Rob sat for an hour, dropping eggs into the dye, stirring them and laying them on the drying racks when he decided the color was perfect. He doesn’t say much – he takes egg coloring very seriously.
Casey is now happily waiting for the Easter Bunny to come. She wants him to hide 10 eggs with candy in them and she is hoping for a coloring book. Rob hasn’t mentioned the bunny at all. He just listens to her and thinks his deep thoughts. A few years ago, we saw the Easter Bunny in the mall. Casey was over the moon excited and couldn’t wait to get closer. Rob stood with me, grinned and said, “person.” He recognizes costumes, but she either doesn’t or doesn’t care. (My guess is she doesn’t 😊)
He will go to sleep tonight, but she probably will have a much harder time. She may not be able to until she sees that the Easter Bunny has been here – he has to be really quick in our house!
Casey just cut out four dozen sugar cookies and is talking about her Easter shirt and socks (she is wearing Santa ones right now and I wouldn’t be surprised if she wears Christmas or Halloween on Easter! 😊). Rob is building Lego Christmas trees. As you can see, some of our holiday traditions aren’t like anyone else’s and that’s okay!
I hope each of you has a relaxing, joyous and fun-filled Easter. Enjoy whatever traditions you may have and celebrate that they aren’t like anyone else! Happy Easter!
Ever since she was small, Casey has been able to eat weird combinations of foods. One day when she was about 7, she ate almost half a pound of raw hamburger. I was thawing it and she got a spoon and ate all she could. I’ll be honest – I almost threw up when I found her.
She would grab a spoon and a container of chip dip and eat it like pudding. She ate anything and everything. Now, I know that her sense of taste is definitely hypo-sensitive. It’s only been in the last few years I have found a few things that she doesn’t like. She won’t eat pickles of any type.
She doesn’t care for sliced tomatoes but loves the cherry ones. She is not a fan of chocolate and will only eat a few types of chocolate candy. She doesn’t like chocolate ice cream, pudding or milkshakes.
Last year, she discovered salt and pepper. She had often put salt on a few things, but now… Now…. It’s a battle to control her salt usage. She covers food with pepper. I’ve even switched the salt and pepper shakers so very little salt comes out. This over-seasoning is more proof that her sense of taste is definitely hypo-sensitive.
Rob only puts salt on fries and chicken nuggets. He ate almost everything as a little guy. I think it was just before puberty that his sense of taste changed. He ate pizza, spaghetti, chili – and then he didn’t. It wasn’t a gradual process. He just stopped. I don’t know if his anxiety increased at puberty and caused more sensory issues or if the sensory issues caused his anxiety.
Either way, he became a picky eater. For years, he refused to try anything new and nothing gooey could be on his plate. Luckily, he ate most meats and always his fruits and veggies.
He is willing to try new foods now – even gooey ones. It doesn’t always go well as I’ve seen him gag on the tiniest bite, but he does try. I never force him to eat anything, though – that’s a recipe for disaster and I sincerely hope you never let anyone force your child to eat. Rob has had that happen to him. He remembers that.
Rob’s issues with foods aren’t necessarily caused by having a hyper-sensitive sense of taste. His are more likely the texture of the food and not the taste, or lack of it. He does tend to stick with foods that are more bland so there may be certain things that he tastes more strongly.
He tastes sour things more strongly than she does and absolutely cannot stand to taste anything bitter. Bitter doesn’t appear to bother her as she chews medicines with no issues. She loves sour foods – foods that you and I wouldn’t be able to eat, she has no reaction to.
If you want to discover how your child’s sense of taste is affected, start keeping a list of what he or she will eat – what foods they avoid – and if they like to add salt to everything. Once you start comparing the foods on your list, I’m sure you will find whether your child is hyper (too sensitive) or hypo (not sensitive enough) to each taste – salty, sweet, sour and bitter. This might give you an idea of what type of foods to offer your child and what to stay away from.
Honestly, it never occurred to me until recently how strongly Casey’s sense of taste is affected. As I wrote this, I kept thinking of other foods that prove just how little she tastes. She is a good eater (and tends to overeat, thanks to one of her meds) and I just never stopped to think about how she eats. I always thought Rob was the sense of taste that bothered him, but after really thinking about it, Casey is the one with more issues. How I never noticed that is beyond me.
Hopefully, once you see a pattern in how your child tastes, you can come up with a plan to help them experiment with new foods. Just remember, taste is also affected by smell, touch and sight, so you may have to do more digging into those senses before you really know what is going on with your child.
