When thinking about people with autism, I wish more people would understand that they are people first – the autism is just a characteristic of them, like their hair or eye color. Casey and Rob may not interact with each other as much as other siblings, but they do try to annoy each other at times. And Mandy joins in the fun!
Yesterday is a prime example. Casey and Rob were waiting in the car with Mandy when a friend gave them a bag of popcorn. Tory handed the bag to Casey because that was the side of the car she was near. Rob immediately tried to get it, as he loves popcorn and Casey won’t eat it. She snatched it away from him and held it until we got home so he couldn’t get any. Then she threw it on the table and never mentioned it again while Rob had a snack.
Later that evening, Casey was outside on the swing when Rob wandered out. This is really unlike him, as if he goes out, he usually sits on the front porch. Anyway, as soon as he sat down near her, she jumped up and ran in the house. He didn’t seem to care and enjoyed the swing for a few minutes. Soon, he went back inside and she came back out. It wasn’t long before he came back out and she left again.
He sat out there quite a while with me and then asked about Casey. We discovered she was in his usual spot on the front porch. 🙂 As soon as she saw us, she ran around to the back of the house to her usual spot in the swing. I was laughing at them both. It was so obvious that she had had enough of her little brother for the day!
Other days, she will lay her iPad down and leave the room. He will grab it and push the home button, so whatever she was looking at is gone. And she likes to barely push his bedroom door open knowing that he will jump up to make sure it is closed tightly. She likes to put her PJs in a certain place in the bathroom and he will move them to another spot. She will put a coat on, knowing he will do whatever she does, and then will take it off after he goes outside so he has to run back in the house to put his coat away, too.
Today has been much the same about going outside. He goes out, she comes in. I have no idea how many times this has happened today. I’m beginning to think he is doing it on purpose just to bug her.
Mandy will join in the teasing, too, and Rob will follow along with whatever she says. Casey doesn’t always join in, but she laughs when Mandy teases Rob. (He is always smiling, too!)
On the flip side, all of them, including Cory, are very close. Mandy and Cory are very protective of Casey and Rob and will do anything to make sure they are happy and safe. As much as Rob and Casey tease each other, they are also very protective. When we are out in crowds, they reach for each other and hold hands. It comforts both of them and is the most amazing thing to see. She knows he will get her where they need to go. And he knows she needs that comfort in crowds. Just like typical siblings, they look out for each other.
He follows her lead in many things. And she keeps an eye on him, when she thinks about it. 🙂 He will always ask where she is, but Casey may forget about him at times. When they are picked up from Hopewell, Rob usually asks where she is if he gets to the front first. She will just stand and assume he will come. 🙂
Honestly, it’s wonderful to me when they “pick” at each other. It’s something that siblings do – autism or typical. I love to see them interacting with each other. Though, maybe not in the way they just did. They were eating supper and Rob took the pepper shaker. He doesn’t use it and was grinning a huge grin as he held it above his head and watched her try to get it from him. (He’s so much taller, she had little chance of reaching it!) He finally got tired of the game and gave it to her, but she was not pleased with him at all. 🙂 But – that’s something that Jeff, my brother, and I would have done to each other. (And still do! 🙂 )
So please, when thinking about siblings, leave the autism out. Watch how they interact together. Even without words, they will form a relationship. It may not look like the relationship between you and your siblings, but it will be there. The love and the laughs – on their terms. Enjoy every minute of it!
And remember, if you mess with a person with autism, their siblings will come to their defense and it will not be pretty. Beware.
Enjoyed reading this post! Called to mind my siblings and the fun we had while growing up.
Thank you!