This picture was the first day of school for Rob’s senior year. (I’ll admit – I got a little teary-eyed about no more first days of school!) But – I’m not gonna lie – I am so glad that my kids are done with school! I miss the teachers they had – and wish every child had amazing teachers like that, but I don’t miss the worry and the stress. I don’t miss buying hundreds of dollars of supplies and clothes. I don’t miss wondering if the other kids were mean to them. I think Rob, especially, likes his routine to stay the same. As much as he misses Mrs. Kaser (he still talks about ALL of the teachers and aides he had!), he likes knowing that his routine won’t change.
For those who are dreading back to school, I do have a few tips to help.
- Get to know your child’s teacher, aide and bus driver. Really – get to know all of the staff at your child’s school. Share your child’s favorite things and always, always be sure to tell the teachers what your child doesn’t like! It isn’t fair to them or your child for you to not share that. Let the teacher know you are always available to talk with him/her about issues that will come up. If you have concerns, share those, too. Only your child will suffer if you don’t keep the lines of communication open.
- If your child has a rough night, text the teacher and let her know that. She will know that that day may not be the best one to start new lessons – it might be best to just go with the flow that day and start fresh the next day.
- Always, always share anything that happens at home that may upset your child with the teacher! You may feel some things are private, but a death or divorce in the household will upset your child and the teacher needs to be aware of it.
- Share your best ideas with dealing with your child’s behaviors. If you know weighted vests help, tell the teacher. If your child needs ear protection for loud noises, tell the teacher. The more you share, the better your child’s school day will go! If your child insists on wearing the same shirts all the time, who cares? Share all of your child’s sensory needs with the staff at the school – and be sure the bus driver is aware of them, too! (I have no idea why bus drivers and cafeteria people are not always included in the loop – they are with your child every day, too!)
- If your child is little, you may want to talk to his/her class about autism before they go. You don’t need to share a lot of details, only that your child may not talk to them, but would love to have someone to play on the swings with or color a picture.
- If you have something to tell the teacher, send an email if it isn’t a pressing matter. Remember that every time you interrupt the teacher, that’s time you are taking away from your child and the other students. If your information can wait, send the email and be patient for a reply. While your focus is only on your child, the teacher is doing his/her best for many students and they want to do their best for each of them.
- If there is a problem, talk to the teacher. If you don’t get results, talk to the principal. It’s okay to be the parent the school is tired of dealing with. I’m quite sure my kids’ school district was as happy as I was when Rob graduated. I never meant to be a pain in the butt (well, okay… yeah… there were a few times, I meant to be – and I would do it all again! 🙂 ). Keep talking until you get help.
- If the problems are still not resolved, get your county or state board of developmental disabilities involved. And remember, nothing can be fixed as quickly as you want it to be. Be patient.
- Be nice until it’s time to not be nice. Nice will always get you farther – but some people need you to not be nice to get their undivided attention. I slapped my hand on the table in the middle of Casey’s IEP when she was little and demanded the district’s special education coordinator pay attention and quit playing with his pen and other folders. He never made the mistake of ignoring my kids again. 🙂 🙂 And we became friends!
- Try to relax. Your child will feel your anxiety and will react to it. (Yeah, learned this the hard way!) Assume the year will be awesome until you have to think it isn’t.
I hope each of your children has a wonderful first day back to school! Enjoy the peace and quiet. Rest if you can – do something you can’t do when they are there (sleep? read? shower?) and leave the laundry and housework. It will be there tomorrow.
Just like with doctors and therapists, remember that you are your child’s best advocate! You know your child better than anyone else! If you think something isn’t right – investigate. You can visit your child’s school anytime – drop in at an odd time and see what’s going on.
Good luck! And be sure to say “thank you” to your child’s teachers and other staff. Your appreciation will go a long way!