Autism, OCD and the Can’t be Rushed Morning

The kids and I have a routine for the mornings when we are all leaving the house about the same time. It works well for us and we have a little time to adjust, if necessary. But last Friday morning was one that about put this almost crazy autism mom over the edge.

Casey and Rob were going to spend the night with my parents that evening. Since they both “need” certain blankets to sleep with, I told Mom that I would bring their stuff out before I went to work that morning. The kids have been leaving in plenty of time for me to do that. Until….

I had a hard time getting up that morning, but I was still almost ready when I woke Casey up. She stumbled to the kitchen (she wakes up like I do – barely moving most days! 🙂 ) grabbed her pills and juice and wanted waffles for breakfast. Not a problem, but somehow, I had managed to not have our lunches packed (Blue took forever outside!) and I still needed to pack their clothes for Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

I’ve packed for them before and had to unpack and let them do it, so I told Casey to go get her clothes and the blanket and stuffed animal she wanted to take to Mom and Dad’s house. Somehow, this translated in her mind to lay back down on her bed. I’m trying to get lunches packed when I realize I hadn’t heard her in the bathroom. After several calls up the steps and a threat to go get her, she came down – without her stuff. So we went back up – together – to gather it all and get her packed.

She went into the bathroom as I went to get Rob up. He rolls over as soon as he hears me every morning and grabs his juice and pills. I handed him his breakfast and went to get his bag so he could pick what he wanted to take. Of course, I couldn’t find his bag – he decided it didn’t belong in his closet or the closet upstairs (but did he tell me? of course not!) I finally found it and started packing his blankets only to have him pull them back out because I packed the burgundy one first – and the brown was is supposed to go on the bottom.

So, I put the brown one in, the burgundy one and the blue one – only to be told I packed the wrong blue one – and he pulled everything out again, because he wanted the right blue one in on top of the brown one and under the burgundy.

I hate to admit it, but by now, I’m grinding my teeth. None of us are ready, they are packed, they haven’t had breakfast and their ride would be here in less than 10 minutes.

So we try again – and finally the blankets are properly packed. He needed to change his shirt before work (He has a few old shirts that I told him he could wear at home, but needed to be changed before work.) He was fine with changing his shirt, until I pulled out his coke shirt and he was wearing the official “wear only with the coke shirt” pants. So he yanked off the shirt he was wearing and put the coke shirt on, but then realized he wanted to wear the coke shirt at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, so he completely stripped, stuffed those clothes in his bag and pulled another pair of pants and shirt out of his drawer. And I hear the minutes ticking by.

I knew then I was never going to be able to leave when they did.

Casey came to me for help in brushing her hair and decided she had the wrong socks on to wear with her boots. (I have no idea why!) So she disappeared upstairs to find the right socks, while Rob is stuffing his feet into snow boots because Casey is wearing boots. Then she came down in tennis shoes, so he ran back to his room to put tennis shoes on. And I’m sweating and ready to start swearing under my breath.

She finally sat down to eat her waffles. He turned the TV on and immediately started singing his storm song. Over and over again. She stopped eating to watch him. He quieted a little, she finished eating and went to get her coat. She had her red coat on, but wanted a scarf. I told her to get the scarf Mandy made her. No. That scarf can only be worn with the Elmo hat Mandy made. So wear that hat. No. That hat has to be worn with her black coat. (By now, I am so ready to start cussing – you can’t even imagine.) So wear the black coat. No, it’s Friday. (AHHHHHH!)

I took a deep breath and said go get a scarf. No. Fine, then don’t wear one. She stomped to the couch and flopped down. I got her one of my scarves, but you can imagine how that went over. She started getting upset as I can’t find another scarf that will make her happy. Rob got louder and Blue started barking. I still am not ready for work, nor do I have my lunch packed or Blue fed. And I’m so stressed by then, I can’t even think what I need to do first so I can get out of the house on time.

Casey was still asking for a scarf. Finally, I understood she wanted a new one, but that she also wanted a new hat and gloves, too, because you simply cannot wear an old hat or gloves with a new scarf. I’m done. By then, I didn’t care if I ever saw another scarf.

Their shuttle came around the corner and Rob suddenly remembered he needed his headphones for his iPad. I told him I would get them, but of course, I grabbed the wrong pair (how was I supposed to know there is a certain pair for Fridays at work??) Casey was walking out the door when she decided she packed the wrong slippers for Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I asked which ones she wanted and told her I would get them after she left. She stopped on the porch as if she was deciding whether I could handle such an important task, but finally, they were both on the shuttle and I could close the door.

I thanked God that most days aren’t like that one. Truly, had I not needed to take their stuff to my parent’s house, it wouldn’t have been any big deal. And I knew mom and dad would meet me in town to get it, but I was in a rush by then and wasn’t thinking about that. I had too much on my mind last week and not enough sense to calm down and forget the other stuff for a few minutes.

Luckily, when one of the kids has a morning like this, the other doesn’t pay any attention. It was just dumb luck (and the weather change, I’m sure) that they both had OCD issues the same morning. I’m just glad it’s over (and that I made it to school – with about 30 seconds to spare! 🙂 ) and I’m hoping not to have another morning like that for a long time!