I just saw a meme that said “And this too will pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass” and I laughed way too much at that. Cause that is life with autism at times! Casey and Rob have each had habits that I thought would drive me battier than I am at times. Those “quirks” lasted for weeks…months.. even years – till, all of a sudden, they were gone. Rob is in the middle of a quirk now that I seriously will not miss!
It started out that he just needed to say the whole phrase (it takes about three minutes to get through it all) when he was getting ready to leave in the morning. He lists fast food (he always starts with fish sandwich, McDonald’s, coca cola and progresses from there.) and restaurants. He isn’t loud when he does it. BUT – he ends with yelling “COFFEE CUP!” at the top of his lungs. KFC, Tim Horton’s (Chocolate cake yummy melt) and then coffee cup!
Yeah – it’s funny as heck. I know it is. Until – you are trying to get out of the house in the morning and he can’t put shoes or socks on while he is talking and he can’t be rushed and he won’t change and say coffee cup to end it. Or – and this has been yesterday and today – he says it all day. It hasn’t been constant – but it’s been often. And my teeth are clinching every time I hear him say “fish sandwich” until I hear the yell of coffee cup.
And then I saw the meme and I had to laugh. It’s so true. The odd little quirks that people with autism need to live with can get old quickly, but we can’t do anything but wait for them to decide not to do it anymore.
For a long time, Rob had trouble sleeping. For there to be any chance of sleep, he had to have the TV on (volume off), a night light, a fan, certain blankets and stuffed animals, a light on in the kitchen (I once changed that lightbulb at 3 in the morning!) and his CD player with a song on repeat. If anyone cares to know, I figured it out once. The song was three and a half minutes long – say four minutes with the slight break before it repeated. It played roughly 150 times every night. I tried shutting it off once he was asleep (how stupid was that?!?!). It got to the point I didn’t even hear it anymore – until one night, it wasn’t on. And he was asleep.
I thought the CD had finally died, but no. He just didn’t turn it on and he has never listened to it again. The TV is off (he refuses to let anyone turn it on at all now – God knows why!). He doesn’t care about the kitchen light or stuffed animals. He wants his nightlight and a fan. I had a hard time sleeping without the music for a few nights. 🙂
Casey insisted on doing a rather complicated set of hops, jumps and steps as she went into every door. Which isn’t a problem, really, unless a few of those steps involve jumping back out the door. She shocked many people who never dreamed she would jump back on them as they followed too closely. I learned to walk behind her so she didn’t land on some poor old person and knock them over. She couldn’t be rushed – steps couldn’t be forgotten. I don’t know when it became a quick hop in with a little kick of the other foot, but I don’t miss it. It just stopped one day.
Honestly, the only “quirk” I ever broke for them was Casey wearing gloves. She was 5 or 6 and decided that spring that since she wore gloves all winter, she wouldn’t stop. It was cute for a while. Then it was a pain in the butt, as she would lay the gloves down and not put them away. Soon, a glove came up missing. We were going to my parent’s house and she refused to leave. Mandy and Rob were already in their car seats when she hit the floor screaming and kicking because she couldn’t find her glove. I scooped her up, buckled her in her seat and listened to her scream bloody murder all the way to their house.
As soon as we got home, I searched for the darn glove so we wouldn’t have a repeat (by then it was close to June!). She never asked for it again and the next spring, she stopped wearing gloves when it got warm.
Rob’s “Long Black Train” has been around for years. It used to be his storm song, but now he has to say it – loudly – 13 times when we get in the car to come home. Once in a while, he’ll say it to sing himself to sleep. I won’t miss that when he decides he’s done with it. And I won’t miss him yelling coffee cup!
I don’t miss the impossibly strict routines we had to follow for years (we still have routines, but Casey and Rob are both more flexible about things. Unless there is a full moon, it’s windy, the weather is changing or they are hungry or tired). 🙂 I don’t miss the screams if she didn’t get a picture frame at the store. Sometimes, though, I do miss all three of them as little kids. Despite the hell of autism some days, we had fun together.
So – as you listen to whatever “song” your child needs to hear or say for the thousandth time today or drive the exact same way to school or fix foods the exact same way, just remember – this too shall pass.
Like a kidney stone.