I’m sure every one of you has safety precautions in place. Your doors stay locked for the wandering kids. Your windows are permanently closed to prevent falls. Your cupboards are latched, toilets are closed, cleaners locked away. Your home is as safe as autism will let it be. But have you thought about your child’s safety in the event of a car accident? As you travel? What about a house fire or natural disaster?
Where I live, tornadoes are possible but rare. I had always wondered if the weather turned terrible at night if I could get both kids to wake up enough to get to the basement with me – and would they stay there? A few years ago, our summer was one threat of tornado after another and terrible thunderstorms. The first time the tornado warning sounded, I jumped up and ran to Casey’s room. She is a deep sleeper – one that rarely moves during the night and the one I was most worried about waking up.
She was sound asleep, but when I ran in and started shaking her, she woke right up and got out of bed. Mandy was on her way from her room as I walked out of Casey’s and she took Casey and the dogs to the basement as I went to get Rob. He woke easily, grabbed his blankets and went to the basement with me. The kids crashed on a mattress as I watched the TV and cried with relief that I would be able to get everyone safe during a weather emergency.
Every time I had to wake them up that summer, they jumped right up. You need to consider what you will do if your child won’t move fast enough and you can’t carry them. Make more than one plan in case the first one doesn’t work like you think it will. Consider purchasing camping lanterns for light as lit candles are too dangerous for our kids. Make sure you have water and snacks in your safe area. Think about packing a backpack with medicines and fidgets to help calm your child while you wait for the storm to pass.
In my case, my first plan was to try to wake Casey first, then go to Rob. If she struggled to wake up, I was going to take him to the basement and turn a power rangers movie on – I knew he wouldn’t leave the movie to come looking for me. If neither would wake up, I was going to toss water on them. Yes, I know that sounds mean, but I knew it would wake both of them up enough for me to get them moving.
Being in a car accident is one of my biggest fears. If I am unable to help them, I don’t think either will try to leave the car. I desperately hope I am wrong, but I just don’t think they will. I have stickers on my windshield stating that there are occupants with autism who may not respond as expected. I have information in the glove box for each of them – contact info, name, address, their diagnosis and what they might possibly do.
My list includes the fact that Rob may run away and that neither understand danger and may wander into traffic. It says that both have moderate autism and that communication is difficult. Casey may be jumping and screaming, while Rob may be pacing and yelling. I want every first responder to know what they may be doing and to not try to touch them. The kids need to be given space to calm down and for people to use statements such as “Tell me your name” instead of saying “What is your name?” My lists explain that questions are confusing and that they need time to process the words.
Rob is a big guy. I don’t want anyone to think he is being aggressive when he is simply overwhelmed, scared and trying to calm down. Casey’s screaming and jumping is scary to see and if someone tries to touch her, it will only get worse. First responders need this information. I’m sure their adrenaline levels are sky high when they respond to emergencies and they need to make split second decisions for their safety and that of my kids. The more information available to them, the safer we will all be.
As for home safety, Casey and Rob both know they are to leave the house if they hear the smoke detectors. They are never alone, but I have drilled this into their minds. They are to leave and go sit in the garage (our garage is unattached) and wait for someone to come. Will they do it? I doubt it. The smoke detectors have gone off and they have no response to them at all. Again, I have made my plans for leaving the burning house.
In the middle of the night, I will get Rob first, as his room is right beside mine. Once he is on his way to the garage, I’ll get Casey. We can get out one of her windows without much of a drop, if needed. Of course, as soon as I see the danger, I’ll be screaming both kids’ names and hoping they come to me and we can all leave together. Maybe I overthink things, but I want a plan in place, just in case.
It’s just like learning CPR. You pray you will never have to use it, but if you do, you want your movements to be instant and not have to stop and think about anything. Plan ahead – think about all of the ways your children might react (like that’s even possible to do with our kids!) from hiding to running to having a meltdown. You have to consider how you might move a person that is bigger than you and get them to safety. Keep a treat they won’t refuse where you can get to it easily and bribe them if necessary (though I like to call this positive reinforcement instead of bribery!).
Contact your local emergency services and see if you can have your phone number highlighted with additional information. This means that when 911 is dialed from your home, the fact that you have a person with special needs will automatically pop up on the operator’s screen. Add as much information as possible, such as how your child may be react or how they communicate. I did this a few years ago with our local 911 system.
A friend of mine at our local board of DD is working on a project for first responders and emergencies with people with special needs. This could be a great suggestion for your local boards – or something you could work on. First responders need training in helping our families and this doesn’t always happen, especially in rural areas.
My thoughts and prayers are with the families affected by Harvey, in the path of Irma and near the terrible wildfires out west. These are terrible situations, but when you have a person with autism, it can be so much harder. Please say a prayer for them, too.