An Autism Mom’s List of New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New Year!  I hope each of you had a Merry Christmas!  Now is the time that we all think about what we really want from the coming year and what we would like to change.  Getting organized, getting healthy and saving money are always at the top of most people’s lists and while I think those are all awesome goals, my list looks a little different, thanks to autism.

Resolution #1 – I resolve to ask for help when I need it – hopefully, before I have a meltdown of my own.   Asking for help is not easy for me and I hate doing it.  I know I  need to.  I know life is easier when I have help.  I know I have friends and family that are only a phone call away and who want to help the kids and me.

And I know how much I just hate to do it.  I have never liked asking for help – this isn’t something I learned from autism.  I have no idea why.  Maybe my stubbornness has something to do with it.  I always feel like I should be able to handle anything autism throws at me.  Is that unrealistic?  Of course – and the funny thing is, I know it’s crazy.  So – I’ll do my best, but this will probably be my most difficult resolution.

We all need help at times.  Reach out when you need to!  There are people willing to help you – you just may have to search for them.

Resolution #2 – I resolve to make time for me.   I don’t have to ask for help for this one – I just have to do it.  I need to write more, craft more, read more, yoga more.  I’m really good at taking care of others, but not so good at doing what I want for me.  I’ve been working at this for a few weeks, now, so hopefully, this will be an easy resolution to keep.

You have to do the same thing.  If you don’t have time for you and what you enjoy, you will burn out.  Been there, done that and trust me, it’s not pretty.  You can’t take care of your person with autism if you are burned out.  Helping yourself will help your child, I promise.  Do what you love and I guarantee dealing with autism will be easier.

Resolution #3 – I resolve to thank the people who help with Casey and Rob more.  And to thank the friends and family who send me texts or messages just to say hi and see how we are doing.   I can never tell you how much those quick messages mean to me – bright spots in my day.  I’ve made so many new friends thanks to autism and I hope that my messages to them help, too.  A simple hi or a smiley face can truly brighten someone’s day.

To the people who work with Casey and Rob – thank you!  You don’t have an easy job.  I hope you understand that sometimes, when I am angry, I’m not angry at you – I’m just tired and stressed and don’t want to deal with autism anymore.  Please know that I get tired of hiding paper clips and Q-tips and juice boxes at home, too.

Resolution #4 – I resolve to spread more awareness of autism.   By writing this blog, sharing our circus and keeping up with our Facebook page.  By taking the kids wherever they want to go with whatever supports they need.  By telling those who stare why Casey and Rob are doing what they are doing.  By controlling my temper when the stares are accompanied by rude comments and by losing it when I need to.

We all benefit with more awareness.  It won’t be just our autism families who are helped.  Any family who has someone a little different might find a more accepting world.  A kinder world – isn’t that something we all want?

Resolution #5 – I resolve to follow my own dreams and not let autism take over my life.  This is a little like doing things for myself, but on a much larger scale.  It’s much easier to take five minutes to crochet or meditate than it is to spend hours planning how you can reach for your own dreams.  It’s hard for me to write as much as I would like – real life tends to get in the way at times.  This year, I want to reach for my own dreams and not just push the kids to reach for theirs.

This resolution works whether you have a special needs person in your life or not.  As parents, we always put the kids first.  I’m not saying to ignore your kids, but you do have the right to follow your dreams, too.

So, as we count down the last days of the year, think about what you really want your resolutions to be.  Take small steps and allow yourself to make mistakes – progress is rarely a straight and narrow path.  Just like the progress our kids make – it is often a small step forward, a step back, a step to the right, a step forward.  You can do it!

Happy New Year!  Thank you for following our journey!