Tag: OCD

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Autism, OCD and Irritation

Autism, OCD and Irritation

Casey has been on edge this week. While I have seen her beautiful smile and twinkling eyes often, I’ve also seen the irritable side of her. The one that OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) grabs and won’t let go at times. She has been “off” and I’m not sure what to blame.

We did have a big storm that was supposed to hit us, but luckily, it went around. Rob was especially loud that afternoon, as the barometer dropped. The weather does affect her, but not always as bad as it does him. She was just grouchy. I completely understand that everyone has off days and they bounce back, but she’s been different for almost a week.

She’s focused on her calendar and keeps repeating things she wants to do, even when I tell her I will not put ride the rides at the fair on her October calendar, yet. Nor will I write when we will go to the water park. Or when Mandy’s baby is coming. And when I put her off and explain that I can’t write things I don’t know, she snorts and flips her hair. (Oh my God – the attitude!) She wants things written down – NOW!

She wants Cory’s car show at the fairgrounds and is irritated that it is on Main Street this year. She wants Anna’s birthday, Lacey’s birthday, July 4th, a cookout at Hopewell, and sparklers – and she wants it all written on her calendar. Now. I have written everything I can, but I can’t write that we will have cake for Anna and Lacey because I don’t know when or if that will happen. So, she snorts and flips her hair again. (Yes, her hair is short, but the way she flips her head, I know what she is doing!)

She is irritated that there isn’t any laundry in the dryer. Or that I can’t tell her what we are having for supper – tomorrow night!

But – there are happy smiles, too, so I know this isn’t something that needs addressed with her doctor, yet. If she was nothing but irritable, I’d be concerned, but she’s just picking and choosing what to get upset about and driving me nuts in the process. Because, once she gets fixated on something, as you know, she can repeat it until I want to scream. A conservative guess for discussions about the car show yesterday (it isn’t until mid July!) would be near 100.

I surprised them Thursday with a trip to the zoo. They both love the zoo. He wants to see turtles – she just likes being there. This time, she slept all the way over (about 90 minutes) and then basically stayed completely serious/on edge until we had lunch. She started asking a few minutes after we arrived – way too early for lunch. She barely looked at anything until we finally had lunch, then she perked up and looked around. She got fixated on lunch and nothing would make her happy until we ate.

Her OCD is really grabbing her lately and it won’t let go. I haven’t changed any meds, so that’s not it. She is happy between compulsions (and really, the compulsions aren’t affecting anything but our conversations, so far) so I don’t feel she needs to see her doctor. What I would like to know is why.

Is it the weather? The phase of the moon? Is she not sleeping enough? Is something going on that I don’t know about? Is she going to have anxiety issues like Rob does? Or – and most of the time, I truly believe this – is she just trying to keep me on my toes? 🙂 Wouldn’t want Mom to get too comfy in how well things are going for them, would we?

But really, that’s the autism is. You have routines for years that can’t be changed at all, then all of a sudden, no one cares about those routines. You can’t eat certain foods, then you can. You can’t wear certain clothes, then you can. You can sleep all night, then you can’t. You can eat chips, then you can’t. You can’t brush your teeth, then you can.

Autism is like dancing. Sometimes, it’s slow and steady like a waltz – the same steps repeated over and over in a beautiful pattern. And then… Irish jig time. No one tells you the steps, only that you have to keep up and not stop. And you are out of breath and wondering what the heck is going on.

Yep – been there, done that. I’m just thankful that, so far, Casey is only repeating things constantly. She isn’t getting mad or having a meltdown, just getting irritable and pushy about what she wants. I can handle this. I can answer her without really thinking if I need to. And when I get close to losing my mind…..

I offer her a cookie. It’s not bribery – it’s behavior modification. 🙂

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Autism, OCD and Anxiety

Autism, OCD and Anxiety

Over the last few days, I have definitely seen an increase in OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) in both Casey and Rob. It hasn’t reached a point where I need to call their doctor. It isn’t interfering with their lives (that’s how the doctor and I decide it’s time to do something – when the obsessions really interfere with their routines), but it’s more present than it has been for a long time.

Rob’s love of magazines had really loosened. It used to be that he wanted any magazine he saw (though he never tried to buy them at store – only when he was in elementary school. He loved looking at country music magazines and purchased many of those.) and would put up a fight if I told him to put them back. He finally got to the point that he wanted the magazines, but he understood that he couldn’t have every one that he saw.

I got three magazines in the mail last week. Unfortunately, he saw them and decided he wanted them and nothing was going to stop him. I told him as soon as I was finished, he could have them, but that wasn’t enough. He was gone for a few hours that evening and when he got home, he went after them again. I gave him the two I was finished with, but that wasn’t good enough. He wanted them all. He took his shower and literally sat by me on the couch with his hand on the magazine while I tried to read and enjoy it. And he repeated… “one two three magazines. one two three magazines. one two three magazines” until I thought I would scream.

I finally gave it to him and sent him to bed. The next morning, while he was still sound asleep, I quietly took that magazine back so I could read part of it again. When he stumbled out of his room later, he went right to the stand by the couch and grabbed it back. He did put it back, but he was anxious until I was finished and he could have it back.

He has also become very concerned about all of the window locks being turned the same way and other items in their proper places (according to him! :)) I’ve seen it all before. As his anxiety levels go up, his OCD gets more controlling. As well as he has done with this stay at home stuff, I think he is about done. He hasn’t mentioned Hopewell and he is doing amazing in everything else, but the increase in OCD is a sign.

Casey has decided that she can only wear a certain pair of black shorts most days. One day last week, I had just put them in the dryer when she wanted to get dressed. She refused to put anything else on until I told her we would not go for a walk until she got dressed (she had a shirt and socks laying out – apparently, she wasn’t going to put anything on until she got her shorts). As soon as the shorts came out of the dryer, she changed. I thought maybe she needed new shorts, so she went shopping Friday and bought three new pairs. But, this morning, she wanted those same black shorts. She has decided the new shorts are “good” and can’t be worn at home.

She has always patted certain things – her socks, her shoes, the floor in front of the closet, door frames. This morning, I noticed she couldn’t come to breakfast until she tapped the coffee table, the drawers in both end tables, the drawer in the hutch, then the mirror on the hutch and then the floor in the living room. She seems happy – but that much touching is a sign that her anxiety and need for routine is growing.

I am so proud of both of them for how well they have handled the stay at home order. I never in a million years dreamed Rob would be okay with his routine being so drastically changed. He hasn’t even mentioned Hopewell since the end of March! It’s a huge help that they get to see Bob and Reagan a few times a week, but still, I think they are ready to get back to their routine.

I worry about that, though. If and when their day hab opens, it will be different. They will have to stay in a small group with two staff. They won’t be able to wander around the building and they will be asked to wear masks. ( I don’t think that will be a problem, but who knows?) They will not be riding their shuttle and their day will be shorter. And, as much as I think they want to go back, I can’t help but wonder if they really do. Casey says yes, but I can’t ask Rob without him thinking they are going right now – and then asking every few minutes for Hopewell. I can’t do that to him – or me. I think they have had fun staying with me, but fun with mom only goes so far. 🙂

I’m not ready to call their doctor, yet. Right now, the anxiety and OCD are coming out as little quirks more than anything else. We are rarely in a hurry to go any where so Casey can pat all she wants. And if he likes the windows locked, I’ll say it’s for our safety. (Some of his habits are handy – he wipes up spilled water and folds laundry neatly! 🙂 ) What I really wish is that they were able to tell me what they are feeling – what they would like to do – what I can do to help. Some days, the communication issues with autism are the worse part. I hate not being able to help them.

At this point, he has been on repeat with long black train. He isn’t upset – he’s just talking. The weather changed drastically yesterday and I’m sure that is partly to blame, but really, he is just stimming. I’d like to think that going for a walk would help, but I doubt it will. We are going to my mom and dad’s for supper later and I’m sure that will break his repetitions, at least until we get home again. 🙂

I hope all of you are doing okay and staying healthy. I also hope that the people you love with autism are handling the changes as well as Casey and Rob are. This “new normal” is hard enough for typical people to understand. I wish people understood that it’s a hundred times harder explaining it to someone with communication issues. We will get through it with lots of walks and now that the weather has finally gotten warmer, we can go on longer hikes and explore new places. Casey and Rob both enjoy that so hopefully, that will help their anxiety and OCD.

Stay safe!