When you are a parent, sometimes, you forget about all of the little things your child is learning every day. You think about the big things – first steps, first words, potty training and you forget to cheer when your child holds a door for someone or helps without being asked. When you are a parent of a special needs child, those little things are often what you notice first. With autism, you don’t take any new skill for granted. This was a week of little steps for us and this is one excited autism mom.
As many of you know, I injured my foot several months ago and am still trying to stay off of it and get it to heal. Things have been done a lot differently around here because I am simply not able to get up and down stairs or jump in the car whenever we want to. Casey and Rob have taken it all in stride and they have grown so much in their self-confidence and awareness of the needs of others (which isn’t easy for anyone, but when you add in autism… you get the picture!)
They are taking turns bringing the trash cans to the house after the trash is picked up. She is even more determined to help with the laundry and is even folding everyone else’s, too. He has been sitting in the living room with me to keep me company. They are taking care of their rooms with fewer reminders. Both of them carry things for me or will go get something if I need it.
Casey will be singing in a talent show Friday and, of course, needs a new shirt for it. I told her we would go shopping the week after her birthday so she could spend birthday money, too. My mom took us early in the week. I hated the idea, but I took my knee scooter, too, so I could keep weight off of my foot. (Crutches are not my friend! 🙂 ) Rob carried it out to the car and loaded it for me and at each store, he went right to the trunk, unloaded it, and brought it to me. (Well, there was one place that he was so excited to get in the store that he left the scooter behind the car instead of bringing to me, but hey – Dollar Tree is exciting, you know! 🙂 ) He put it away each time, too. I am so proud of him and he was proud of himself for helping me.
Casey carefully picked out the perfect shirt and a few others. She even put back the $20 pack of socks when I told her it was too much. He stood and made faces at himself in a mirror while he waited for her to finish shopping. He even agreed to purchase a new shirt for himself! And when we stopped to eat, it was amazing to see them both read the menu to see what they wanted and then tell the waitress. (He tries to get me to do it, but he will if I remind him that he can talk to her.)
Wednesday was a big one, though! They were supposed to go out to eat with their day hab and then go to the Dollar Tree. Rob put his new shirt on without being asked! And even when Rob knows they are eating out, he insists on taking his lunchbox with him. It’s almost like a security thing with him. So I pack a few things and let him carry it. That day, though! Once he heard they were going out to eat, he put his lunchbox in the pantry and sat down to wait for their ride. I was so excited and praising him – he looked at me like I was crazy, of course, but I don’t care. He even picked up a dollar to take so he could go shopping. (He rarely thinks about needing money – someone always has it for him) I told him I had already sent money and that he didn’t need to worry about it.
Here’s the thing. Typical parents may not notice things like this. But – autism parents do! We celebrate every single little step and tell everyone about it. Some days are tough, I know, and you might spend more time thinking about what your child can’t do than what he/she can. Been there, done that.
But – celebrating these little things is important! Yell it from the roof tops! I don’t care if your child is 30 when they say Mom for the first time – it’s just as important and exciting as a baby saying it. You deserve to brag about your child as much as everyone else! Celebrating every little step will help you get through those tougher days. Always focus on what your child can do and not what they can’t. You can always work on those goals, but you’ll be happier if you focus on the good and not the bad. Always keep hope alive.